


BEN Drowned-Dis:connected

by calicocupcakes



Series: Boyfriend Scenarios [2]
Category: BEN Drowned, Creepypasta - Fandom, Eventual smut - Fandom, ben drowned/ reader - Fandom, violence and gore - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-03-30 12:06:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3936154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calicocupcakes/pseuds/calicocupcakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Welcome to the religious little town of Amphele, home to the lost and forgotten and the center of your endless curiosity. You are the mayor's spirited youngest daughter, a bubbly hyperbomb of artistic talent with an insatiable love for all things creepy and macabre, and a slight odd quirk that draws those with unfinished business toward you. With your talent of attracting those who were supposed to have gone to rest, one angry ghost takes notice and sends you down a whirlpool of guilt and wrath in an attempt to finally take revenge.</p><p>With you as his guiding light, will you pull him from the depths of his grudge, or will his darkness snuff you out for good?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Magic

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! <3
> 
> Ah, so good to finally be back! I'm pleased to present the next story of the scenarios series *tiny clap clap*  
> This time we're falling in love with everyone's favorite ghost BEN! I'm excited to go this route, as he is one of my favorites, but I have a twist in mind. 
> 
> Your input directly affects the story.
> 
> At certain points I will leave the next move up to you, the readers! I needed a way to express my gratitude better than just thank you, and it looks super fun. Let's give it a go!
> 
> To all of my returning readers, I appreciate you so much for coming back for round two, thank you thank you <333
> 
> And to my newer readers, I do hope you're ready for the deep emotional rollercoaster I'm taking you on. Be prepared!
> 
> Happy reading~

 

* * *

 

_"Legend tells of a supernatural being called the Slender Man, but we know him as Slenderman. Some say that Slenderman’s as tall as the trees in his forest, others that he can be the same height as an ordinary man. He wears a well pressed black suit and tie, adorned with black dress shoes.”_

“So he’s just a really tall prude.”

“Shh!”

“What? He sounds pretty normal to me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong Nick. Slenderman is everything but. His skin is pure white, and he has hundreds of slimy, black tentacles that can sprout from his back at will. But worst of all— _he has no face_.”

“Oh come on. You guys don’t really believe this bull, right?”

“Whether or not you believe is your choice. But there is overwhelming evidence that he truly exists. Ancient artifacts, personal testimonies, videos and pictures…even news broadcasts.”

“That’s right…I heard about those girls in Wisconsin.”

“They stabbed their friend a bunch of times…said they were making her an offering.”

“…fine then. Let’s say he is real. What can he do to us?”

“Well, according to the lore, Slendy preys mostly on children, but he won’t spare anyone who gets lost in his forest. Us older kids will get these huge migraines and be disoriented, sometimes go insane. But we’ll always know he’s nearby when we hear a loud ringing sound in our ears. Once that happens…it’s already too late. We’re sitting ducks.”

“I call bullshit.”

“Nick, there’s no way you can say that he’s not real. Doesn’t he leave symbols and notes and stuff in the area Reese?”

“I don’t think so. That’s how it works in the game, but I haven’t read anything like that in the stories. The only exception would be the footage from marble hornet’s channel.”

“That’s all it is, just dumb urban legends. What are they called, creppypasta’s?”

“Uh-huh. But who’s to say he’s not really out there? Anyone who’s gotten close hasn’t come back alive. In fact…I think we’re in the forest right now. _His_ forest.”

“What?”

A deft ringing sounded from the distance.

“W-woah…do you guys hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“ _That_! I know you hear that Nick!”

“Christ Miria, you know you scare easily. You’re imagining things.”

“No…I hear it too.”

“Not you too Alvah.”

“I hear it a bit louder now. I thought something was weird before but…I didn’t want to say anything…”

“O-oh my goodness. Travis heard it long before we did…Risa what’s going on?”

“I don’t know…but I’m getting a headache.”

“Cut that out Reese.”

“Cut what out?”

“Stop shitting me dammit. I know it’s you trying to prank us again.”

A throbbing chill crept into the air.

“Nick, I swear this isn’t me doing this, I swear.”

“I-it’s getting louder.”

“God that—sound!”

“My head’s pounding!”

“Risa!”

The warmth of the bonfire suddenly blew out, cloaking the five students in dark forest. All voices fell to quivering breathing.

“Oh my god…”

“…”

“…holy shit…”

“…what?”

“Risa…Risa! Behind you!”

A pale, faceless oval hovered in the middle of the smoking bonfire pit. Black tentacles spouted from the back of its suit as it hovered over the fluffy head of pink hair.

“Fuck!”

“It’s him! Holy shit it’s him!”

“Travis, let’s go! Now!”

Four young adults sprinted away while one remained.

Her scream could be heard for miles.

‘W-wait! W-we have to go back! He’s got Risa!”

“Forget it! She’s dead!”

Everyone skidded to a complete stop at the sound of a girl’s uncontrollable laughter.

“Oh man! You guys fell for that one soooo hard!”

After a moment of stunned silence, everyone but the girl clutching her stomach yelled a collective “RISA!!”

“What?” you giggled out.

“Oh my god! Risa that was way too much!”

A girl who was little taller than you pounced onto you, gathering you in her arms. Her sleek ravenette locks pushed into your face as she babbled, her thick red lenses falling to the ground. Your lips tugged into a goofy grin and pat her back comfortingly.

“Take it easy Mimi, it was just a joke,” you sputtered.

“Don’t you ‘Mimi’ me! It’s Miria to you from now on! And no more scary stories for a week! You are _so_ grounded do you hear me?!”

“I think your maternal instincts are a little misplaced sis.”

Miria trembled weakly in your arms, headed for the ground if you weren’t there holding her up when her knees gave out on her. A tall, waifish boy walked behind you and picked up her fallen frames, shaking his head.

“How’d you do it this time? That was probably the best one so far,” he asked, smiling.

You let go of your elder sister and turned your beaming face towards him. You bounced happily in place. “Really? Thanks so much Travis! On a scale of one to ten, how terrifying was it?”

He chuckled lightly, his bleached white hair covering his glassy marble eyes. “You scared the hell out of me, and I can’t even see the damn thing. 20 out of ten, hands down.”

You pounced on Travis, knocking Miria’s glasses from his hands, and shook him excitedly around his waist. Travis smiled and smoothed your hair with a warm tan-colored hand, his peaceful expression ever present.

A less than pleased male closed in on you, tugging you away from Travis by your ear. You whined for your sister when sharp hazel eyes crouched to your eye level to meet your chocolate brown irises, the left eyelid twitching. The familiar scowl between his dirty blonde brows seemed to be the trademark for the born skeptic Nicholas.

“You’re going to tell me exactly how you managed to pull that off. _Now_.”

You poked his stomach until he released you and walked back toward the fallen puppet, an athletic male with reddish brown hair swept into a half ponytail and curious dark eyes already poking at the elongated arms. A pair of chrome headphones hung around his neck gleamed in the waning sun, drawing your attention to the wolf-shaped earring hanging from his left ear. His smile was just as wolfish as the charm he wore, making Alvah your first friend in your first year of university.

You smiled back and picked up your 7ft tall doll, handcrafted with styrofoam and paper mache. He stood and leaned over your shoulder, staring wide-eyed at “Slenderman”.

“You made this whole thing all by yourself?”

“Ya damn right I did!"

“Risa! Language!” hissed your sister.

Alvah smiled his familiar wolfish smirk and gave you a fist bump.

Nick walked over and inspected the doll, the scowl on his face getting worse. “I can’t believe this.”

Travis grinned and slyly glanced over to the tallest student. “I think he’s pissed that you scared him with a puppet.”

“Absolutely not!” he quickly retorted, making Travis giggle with a hand covering his mouth.

“So...how’d you make it move?”

You smiled and put on your storyteller’s mask once again, waving your fingers in animated jazz hands.

“Magic!”

This was your essence, your pride and joy. You moved about excitedly as you explained the elaborate contraption of ropes and wires, how you managed to fit your puppet into the unnoticed mound in the branches above you and mimicked the noises with a remote controlled recorder stuck behind the tree. Alvah and Travis seemed equally impressed by your clever approach, Mira sighing in exhaustion and Nick tapping his foot rhythmically.

It didn’t matter how upset your circle got with your endless pranks.

Every single one of them always left them in awe.

Miria sighed, placing a hand over her chest in habit, and finally put her glasses back on. “I’m guessing this one is for your mid-terms?”

You nodded and start folding the doll into a square, taking off the head and hands to pack later. Alvah picked up the head and turned it over in his hands, nodding slowly in approval. “I think you’ve out done yourself this time…you even got the nose and mouth shapes down,” he murmured, tossing the head to Travis.

His slender, calloused fingers felt over the slight dip in the brow. “Truly…I’m impressed with how much detail you put into a head that supposedly has no face.”

Nick, however, stayed silent and looked off towards the park walkway. You zipped up your bag and knock him in the arm, causing him to look down at you.

“You okay man?”

Nick sniffed a laugh and ruffled your hair, speaking low so that no one else would hear. “You’re really something else.”

His compliments were few and even rarer, but he seemed to always spare one for you. To you, earning his praise was honorable no matter how small it was. Nick was definitely hard to please, and even harder to impress.

Miria chimed that it was a good time to go home. The summer breeze was starting to get cooler, signaling the upcoming school year. You vouched to stay behind and walk around a bit more, jesting to scare them even better next time with the new props you had in mind. After your sister cautioned that you be home before nightfall, she toddled behind your friends in a flurry, latching on to Travis’ arm.

You waited until everyone left you alone in the park and searched your bag for the flashlight you packed earlier.

Tugging on your sky blue sweater you veered off the path and into dense forest.

 

The world of imagination was your playground.

Ever since you were little, your outlook on life was one giant mystery tied together by countless trails, stories and experiences led by every living being. You sought to discover and renew, meld and create, and your life soon became the world you created within the confines of your eccentric mind. It wasn’t immediately accepted. Though your sister was artistic in regards to her musical talent, she didn’t seem to really understand how vita the expression of color was to you, how much you depended on the paper and pencil, water color and copic marker. Your classmates ostracized you because of your budding skills, keeping you at a distance as ‘the girl who draws’. You were shy and hesitant, soon becoming secretive with your beloved sketchbook. You were lonely most days, but too afraid to reach out to anyone, fearing the dismissal all over again.

It wasn’t until you saw your very first Sailor Moon henshin sequence that you realized that someone out there knew. Someone in this big mysterious world understood your blossoming imagination.

Simply knowing this washed away the apprehension you felt before, and you began to expose your true self.

As you grew older, so did your heart, and by the time you made it into high school you were the top-of-the-line artist, the shock of pink amidst the sea of dull blondes and boring browns and blacks, the head of set and costume design for school plays, the official captain of the anime club, the bouncing puffball everyone called Reese.

When Halloween came each year, you took your craft in a completely new direction.

It started as a simple poster design, but you were sucked into the world of the horrifying and outlandish, preying on the fears of your fellow teenagers to create the grandest scares. You went from creating props to acting in the maze itself, using your strobe light and fog machine to amp up the fear factor. Your costumes led you to cosplaying, going as Madoka with your white Shiba Inu Ame as Kubei.

Although you were a bright, cheerful girl, your love for the dark and creepy never left you. This is what led you to wander further into the brush.

Here in Amphele, the strange was always bound to happen.

 

You stood at the entrance to an old, abandoned mansion. Its once bountiful plant life now stood as wilted fields and scraggly bushes, its trees riddles with thorns and peeling bark. A rusted onyx gate door hung useless to the side, swinging loudly with the gusts of wind that picked up dead leaves across the stone path.

This wasn’t your first time here, nor would it be your last, but you’ve never set foot inside despite wanting to explore it so badly. The reason you didn’t go in wasn’t because of the overwhelming sense of danger you felt emanating from its doors.

It was the prickling feeling of static that laced your skin.

A sensation you knew all too well since the day you witnessed your grandmother’s last breath on her deathbed.

But today, you were going in, feeling super charged from the success of your earlier scare.

You tightened your grip on your flashlight and stepped around the onyx gate, walking slowly with ears perked. Your sneakers gave off faint scuffing noises with each step, oddly making your excitement grow. The worn wood of the two imposing doors nearly made you falter and hightail it out of there.

You swallowed your fears and clutched the freezing cold door ornament.

The static feeling ran laps down your spine, and you shuddered involuntarily.

“Okay…okay I can do this…I can totally do this…” you whispered to yourself.

With a few failed shoves, you managed to push the door open, an indescribable feeling washing over you.

As if many, many other people were there with you.

You shine your flashlight over the dusty checkerboard marble flooring, noting that the place seemed uninhabited for years almost. The smell of mold and rotting wood was somewhat comforting, and you stepped further inside.

The evening sun highlighted the dust particles floating along the rays that poked through tattered curtains. Old candles sat in stiff waxy heaps on their dull gold holders in the grand chandelier above you. You could see old furniture from an era long passed and tall columns opening to different halls all around you. You breathed a sigh of wonder as you took your time walking around the foyer, completely wonderstruck by the unique sense of beauty the old mansion held within.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a tiny flash of light when you bent down to look at a glass lamp, leading you to the right wing.

The static sensation also heightened when you faced this direction.

Your first instinct was to back away from it, but you refused to bend to your fear anymore.

This was the reason why you came here in the first place.

You wandered into the right hall and followed a staircase upward, your feet meeting a plush carpet with ornate designs on them. This hall was slightly narrowed compared to the others and had multiple halls connecting to it.

Using your senses as a compass, you walk down a hall with countless doors, their name plates covered with a thick layer of dust.

You were very curious now. There were so many rooms on just one hall. Perhaps this was a hotel in its day?

You stopped in front of one door and swiped the dust away, revealing who’s name it once belonged to.

“…Lost Silver?”

Who’d name their kid something that bizarre?

You tried another.

“Jane the…wait, _what_?! _Killer_?!”

In a frenzy, you went from door to door, dusting them off and coughing into your sleeve. Every single one of these name plates were strange, murder this, killer that, or something completely outlandish like Strangled Red.

“Um…”

What kind of hotel was this?!

The final door on the end had the strongest pull on you.

You hesitantly wiped off the name plate.

“Ben Drowned…at least this one is sort of normal…”

You turned to walk away when the door faintly clicked.

Your heart practically leapt into your throat the moment you turned around, spotting the once closed door now cracked open. You slowly neared it and pushed it open, cringing at the whine it gave.

The room before you seemed normal, though unused. You wandered a little further inside, shining your flashlight on every inch of your surroundings. When you looked behind the heavy wardrobe, you noticed the static sensation began to pulsate as if it were a beating heart.

You crouched down and knocked on the wall, hearing an echo.

“A secret compartment…” you whispered, a terrible dread building in your stomach.

You swallow a greedy gulp of air and push against the wall.

“ _Please_ don’t be a dead body, _please_ don’t be a dead body, _please_ don’t be a dead body…”

The sudden sound of something falling made you jump so hard you rammed your shoulder into the wall, falling inside a room striped of its finishing and exposed wiring, surrounded by various relics of the game world.

Dusting off cracked plaster, you looked around for the strongest source of the pulsating.

What lay before you was a Majora’s Mask game card designed for an old Nintendo console.

“…huh?”

The moment you picked it up, the sensations stopped.

 

* * *

 

Miria held you hostage against the door of the house, frowning deeply at you failing to get home on time. You struggled to keep her suspicions from growing, tucking your dusty bag behind you. By the saving grace of your father calling her in to help him set up a facebook account, you shot straight upstairs and into your room, preparing for a much desired shower.

You took out the thick cartridge and looked it over in your hands. It seemed like it was a normal game, nothing out of the ordinary about its makeup. You silently wished you could play it, but you were more than happy with your Playstation 3 and PC gaming system a little farther off from the beanbag chairs and shelves of game titles underneath your manga and figurines.

You smiled a little.

It was a great find, despite how weird it was you getting it.

Yawning for the ninth time that night, you set it down beside your current console and go to the bathroom to shower.

 

There was one more reason you were drawn to the scarier things in life.

When your grandmother passed in her sleep, you were certain you felt an acute child brush your shoulder and pat your head like she used to. You could feel her moving in between your grieving parents and sniveling sister, and it made your tears stop in their tracks. You remembered that intense headache you felt when it first happened, and the horrible nightmares that followed.

Not horrible in the scary sense, but moreso seeing things in her eyes. Seeing her life being played before you, watching her life pass before your eyes.

It scared you to death.

You were unsure of how to deal with it and avoided it altogether, trying to ignore the strong waves of static that would befall you every time you walked by the graveyard on the way to school. You watched countless videos and read testimonials of dealing with these sensations, trying to figure out how to cope with being this sensitive. It soon became clear that ignoring the faded images of people aimlessly wandering about was impossible.

It was only recently that you decided to try and control it.

Only this time, it blind sighted you, challenging your decision head-on.

When you came out of the bathroom, hair damp and muscles relaxed, you dropped the shampoo and dirty clothes you held in your arms, staring straight ahead at the transparent figure floating in front of your widescreen.

He radiated darkness and contempt, a seething hatred for the living, and all you could feel was intense, numbing fear.

His eyes were merciless pools of blood, smirking at you.

The fact that he looked exactly like Link from the Legend of Zelda series didn’t cross your mind.

“Who…how did you…” you gasped, your voice uncharacteristically tiny.

He tilted his head and smiled, wiggling his fingers in the jazz hands you used earlier. In a voice that sent tremors of cold sweat down your spine, he spoke.

  
**_“Magic.”_ **


	2. Peace Offering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You ready for chapter two? >:3
> 
> Thank you to everyone who dropped by for a peek, and a huge thank you to Ash and Metautske for leaving kudos! I really appreciate it!
> 
> Enjoy the read guys! Happy reading~

* * *

 

 

_…who is this person?_

_…can I trust you?_

**_…or will you betray me just like the rest?_ **

 

“Huh?! Wh…what?!”

The figure’s eyes narrowed as it leaned toward you, forcing your back against the wall. The tingling amplified to something like live electricity sprinting across your skin the closer it came. Your breathing began to shake, your spread fingers trembling weakly. He was only a few inches away from you, those blood red eyes looking through you.

A smile curled his lips, and you immediately broke into a cold sweat.

**“…look at me.”**

You shook your head as hard as you could and clenched your eyes shut. He chuckled softly and placed his hands on the wall, trapping you between his arms. You shrunk away and tried to make yourself appear as small as possible, feeling him draw closer to you.

Feeling a spirit’s presence was nothing new to you. In fact, you had grown used to the constant dull chill in the air. The ghosts you’ve come across were all harmless, most of them not even taking notice of you. But this was your first time encountering such a malicious spirit. You could feel his hatred like a searing hot iron engraved in your skin. There was still much more that you had to learn about the residents of the other plane, but there was one thing you knew for certain.

Never look a ghost in the eyes.

 _Never_.

 You felt a disembodied pressure resting on your chin, guiding your face back to the ghost’s direct line of sight. With your body held hostage by the foul churning in your belly, you gave no resistance to him. You were completely at his mercy.

**“Look. At. Me.”**

Your brain screamed not to move, but you hesitantly peeked at his through the fallen strands of hair.

It began immediately.

Your eyes widened to the size of saucers. You took in the sharp facial features, the cat-like shape of his eyes and the gentle curve of his lips. Dark blonde hair covered most of his forehead and fell to his shoulders, and elf-shaped ears poked from underneath the dirtied green hat.

The glowing red iris set in a pool of black kept you from moving a muscle.

 **“Good…see? That wasn’t so hard, right?”** he said softly. His voice was a soothing, clear sound with undertones of a much darker, more sinister mind.

You felt your heartbeat spike with the growing noise of someone else’s heart thrumming in your ears, a vibrating noise that made you wince in pain. Something began to push into your consciousness, an immense pressure weighing on you so strongly that you began to gasp for air. It hurt to breathe.

He was trying to possess you.

His eyes began to drip with dark blood, leaving trails of red down his cheeks when the iris disappeared.

**_“You’ve met a terrible fate…haven’t you…”_ **

You could only answer with a whimper.

However, the ghost didn’t seem pleased.

**“…how can you resist me so well?”**

Huh?

You opened your mouth to speak when your bedroom door flew open suddenly, taking both your eyes and the ghost’s off of each other and onto your older sister covered in flour.

“Dinner’s ready Reese! Uh…what’s wrong?”

Miria walked toward you and took your face in her hands almost immediately, sending the ghost flying with a hip bump. The pressure on your body lifted instantly.

“Gosh are you alright? You’re pale as a ghost!” she chirped.

Oh, if only she could see the one in the room.

“Sp…spider!” you yelled out.

Miria’s brow furrowed. “A spider’s in your room? Where? I’ll kill it for you.” The sight of your clumsy big sister hobbling around on one foot to take off her shoe made you laugh, loosening the tension in your shoulders. You dashed to her side, watching the ghost track your every move.

“I-it’s fine! It ran off somewhere in the vents…l-let’s go downstairs already,” you urged, quickly taking her arm and walking away from the ghost. You kept your eyes on him, and he the same, despite the utterly shocked facial expression on his face.

You had to lean on the door for a minute.

Your legs wouldn’t stop shaking.

 

* * *

 

“Where’s mom?”

“Her shift at the hospital went longer than usual. She’ll be home soon kiddo.”

“Wasn’t today her first in the trauma center?”

“She went from cleaning babies to dressing stab wounds. Your mother has a stomach made of steel, I tell ya.”

“Hey Reese, was that too much spinach?”

You snapped your head up from the appealing plate of food. Your father and Miria both had looks of concern etched all over their faces. You quickly put on a smile and shook your head no. Miria frowned.

“I know your stomach is sensitive to it…you don’t have to force yourself to eat,” she said warmly.

You grinned at her. “I’m okay, you don’t have to worry so much yknow?”

When you moved to pick up a spoonful of rice, a large hand plopped down on top of your head. You looked up to see your father grinning at you, the edges of his dark brown eyes crinkling behind his silver frames. You couldn’t help but smile at him.

His jovial spirit is what made him mayor in the first place.

“Tired from goofing off all day?” he smirked.

You giggled and flicked a piece of rice at him. “I was testing out my new puppet.”

Your dad snapped his fingers in realization. “The real big one right? Without the face and detachable head?”

Mira visibly shuddered. “The Slenderman.”

“Was it that bad? I wouldn’t be scared of something that didn’t have a face. No face, no mouth.” Your dad took another bite of his fried chicken leg, nodding toward Miria with a pleased hum.

“Oh papa you didn’t even see it. Risa had sound effects and everything…I’m going to have nightmares.”

“You want a nightmare? Try having to stop a guy from bleeding to death by spreading his ribcage open and dabbing at his lungs while a lady is giving breach birth in the parking lot.”

You knew that confident voice. Mom was home, in all her fearless glory.

Again, Miria shuddered in her seat. “Oooh…mom, please no gore.”

Your mother set her purse on the counter and hugged her. “You’re gonna have to get over your squeamishness if you want to go into neonatal. Have you seen how they do c-sections now?” she teased.

When Miria whined and covered her ears, both you and your dad laughed. Your mother released her eldest daughter and folded you in her arms, giving you a firm embrace.

“How’s my number one prankster?” she greeted.

You smiled and hugged her back. Your mother was an RN at the local hospital, recently transferred from the maternity ward to the trauma center. Needless to say, she was an extraordinarily tough woman, having given birth to you on the living room floor before the midwife could show up. Your mother shared your passions in art and was an avid fan of your pranks, often helping to spook your father.

“I’m fine mom,” you answered. Her green eyes glittered with mischief underneath her fiery red bangs when they met your father’s, and she practically pounced on him, giving a long kiss on the cheek.

“Hello there big guy,” she said.

Your fathered blushed a little and pecked her forehead, gesturing to the seat beside him. “Come have something to eat. Mimi tried out frying today.”

“Did she? I’ll be taking the chicken then~”

“Wh-mom no! That’s for everyone!”

“My big girl who’s the best at cooking around here made food? I’m eating it all, no questions asked!”

“Aw dear…I’m good too. I just don’t fry that well…”

“I know. Don’t think I forgot about that delicious marble cake you made for mother’s day. There was even hand crafted chocolate roses on it.”  
“Heh…thanks.”

You nibbled on a wing while you listened to your mother talk about her day, watching Miria’s green eyes sparkle with interest and your father run a hand through his black hair, smiling softly. A warm feeling spread in your chest as you looked at their faces, animated and peaceful.

You wondered if the ghost upstairs had a family like this.

There were quite a few questions you had for him, not just how he got here and what it was he wanted, but how it seemed he was tangible and affected by living things. Since Miria can’t see ghosts, she shouldn’t be able to affect them at all. Yet her hips knocked him half across the room. It would’ve been hilarious if you weren’t so scared then.

Then you remembered you had to go back upstairs.

You nearly choked on your dinner at the thought, your appetite suddenly vanishing. Your mom looked your way.

“You okay there sweetie?”

You stood up and downed your glass of water.

“Um…I’m not feeling well…could I be excused?”

Your mother smiled gently. “What’s the matter? Feeling sick?”

“Time of the month?” pitched your father.

“J-just a little dizzy. I’ll be okay if I lay down. I’m just sleep deprived.”

Miria sighed and shook her head. “Did you stay up all night working on that horrifying thing?”

You laughed nervously and scratched the back of your head. “S-sort of?”

Your mother suddenly stood, her fists clenched in excitement. “You finished the Slenderman puppet? Can I see it? Well…after you take a nap that is.”

You grinned. “Of course mom. I’ll take care of the kitchen later, so don’t worry about it.”

She smiled and hugged you gently. “Thank you dear. Take it easy ok? Wake me up if you have to.”

You relaxed in your mother’s arms and sighed.

Somehow, returning upstairs didn’t seem so scary anymore.

 

* * *

 

You roused awake from the couch, your puppy now entangled in your legs. The room was dark save the streams of moonlight and lamp posts coming from outside. Checking the clock on the DVR box, you read 3:17 am.

“I guess I was a lot more exhausted than I thought,” you whispered to yourself.

Carefully shifting away from the snoozing shiba inu, you tip-toed to the kitchen, only to find that the dishes had been washed in your stead. You peered at the yellow sticky note on the fridge with your father’s handwriting on it.

 

_Mother nature’s rough on you kiddo. I saved you some of the chicken. Try to get some more rest, okay? Love ya :)_

 

You smiled and crumpled the note in your hoodie’s pocket.

You felt so lucky to end up with the sweetest parents on the planet.

“Right…on to business.”

After you assorted some of the chicken on a plate and heated it up, you headed up the stairs quietly, slowing down when you neared your bedroom. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes.

You could feel his static in your room.

He was still there.

“Okay…okay…you got this…you totally got this…”

Shaking your sweaty palm, you opened the door.

Your room was dark and very quiet, nothing out of place from where you could see. You carefully stepped further inside, eyes darting around the room searching for the ghost. When you neared the TV, you heard a voice call to you.

“What’s that?”

You jumped and nearly dropped the plate.

“I-is that you?”

As if to answer you, your TV screen flicked on.

You froze.

“…hello?”

No answer.

You crept toward your bean bag chair and set the plate of food down in front of the large screen, the static growing stronger. You waited for what felt like an eternity when a face seemed to form in the skittering black and white.

You progressively crept back as the figure emerged from your TV screen, a bright green silhouette settling on the ground in a sitting position. When the light faded, you saw the same boy from before.

However, he exerted no malice in his aura.

He opened his eyes and instantly locked them on yours.

Your heart pounded in response, but it wasn’t in fear.

This was different.

“You called?” His voice sounded very normal…very _human_.

You blinked in confusion for a moment and shook your head. “Uh…here!”

You pushed the plate of food forward, and he glanced down in curiosity.

“You’re probably hungry,” you said with a grin.

The boy frowned. “Probably? You know ghosts don’t get hungry right?”

You winced. _Yikes_. You didn’t mean to offend him.

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean—“

“It’s okay. I’m starving anyway.”

“…eh?”

You watched him pick up a piece of chicken and bite into it, actually _eating_ it.

How was this possible?

“Huh…this is pretty good. You made this?” he asked, flicking his eyes up at you. You shook your head and smiled a bit, still reeling from having your mind blown.

“My sister did.”

“I see.”

There was a long stretch of silence for a moment, you being unsure of what to say next. You didn’t know how to engage a ghost who didn’t act very ghost-like.

Best course of action would be to treat him like a human.

“What’s your name?” you asked.

The ghost looked at you evenly, looking for something. “Why do you want to know?”

“Uh…well I—“

“Thinking you can ‘help me move on’ as they say?”

This worried you. He was quite cynical with the way he said that.

“…I want to know more about you,” you murmured quietly, not sure if he could hear you.

The ghosts smirked and lowered the bone a little.

“ _Everyone_ wants to know about me. I don’t see how you don’t know who I am, given your puppet.”

Your ears perked up. “Wait, how do you know about that?” You know you were nowhere near the manor when you used it.

He smiled mysteriously, his eyes flickering with an unreadable expression. After a moment he finished his piece, brushing the crumbs from his hands.

“As thanks for the meal, I’ll tell you my name. It’s Ben.”

“Ben?” you repeated. It sounded very familiar, like something you read in a story once.

He nodded and leaned back, a pleased expression on his face. “So, what’s your name?”

“Ah! R-Risa! But most people just call me Reese,” you responded.

Ben smirked and tilted his head to the side, his eyes narrowing at you. “Risa, huh?”

You gulped, unconsciously balling the ends of your sweater in your hands. He practically purred when he said your name.

“Well then, nice to meet you Ben,” you said, extending your hand to him.

A look of surprise crossed his face; yet again he smiled in that mysterious gleam, and took your hand in his. “Nice to meet you, Risa. I have a feeling things will get even more interesting from now on.”

You stiffened automatically.

His hand was as cold as ice.

"Er...y-yeah," you laughed nervously.

Interesting wasn't the word.


	3. Stargazer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *for added atmosphere, play any ambient music you like while you read*
> 
> Greetings everyone! I hope you guys had a good week :3  
> I've little to say for this one...I think it speaks for itself ^^ Please enjoy, and thank you ever so much for your continued support. It really means a lot to me.
> 
> Happy reading~

_What’s it like, when you dream?_

_Do you see color or hear songs? Do you visit old friends that you’ve missed for a long time? Do you relive your favorite memories, or can you create something new and wonderful? Do you explore? Do you do the things that make you feel alive?_

_I’ve forgotten what it’s like._

“…”

Ben sat at the foot of the snoozing girl’s bed, waiting for her to jolt awake like she always did and topple from the sheets in a heap of limbs and anime characters. He couldn’t understand for the life of him why she was so obsessed with these drawn, lifeless puppets, as if they were real people she knew since childhood.

Posters and figurines of countless personas were everywhere; lining her bookshelves with the strange backwards comics he often caught her reading, staring at the huge shining eyes of the protagonists in full concentration. Sometimes she’d cry out suddenly and pace about her room, yelling about a plot twist or the death of her favorite character, then sulk under a blanket in the corner of her room with a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Other times she’d gently put the book down and place a hand over her chest the way her sister did when flustered, grinning very softly with watery eyes.

Risa was a deceivingly simple rubix cube to the ghost. Within the few days of him staying inside her TV, he witnessed her go from the personification of a bubble to an imaginative genius and back to a brooding banshee in a matter of minutes. Every facial expression and voice pitch intrigued and amused Ben, and he frequently found himself mesmerized by the way she played dungeon crawls in her mmorpgs. Rage quits made him laugh the hardest and even more so when she threw a glare his way.

Yet her sleeping face was his favorite.

There was nothing enchanting about the way she slept. She tosses and turns and drools if she’s squeezing her body pillow with the half-naked brunette boy wearing a swimsuit on it. Her hair sometimes loosened from the sleep braid she wove and flattens out all over her face like a spider. She talked in her sleep occasionally, and her brows pinched together when she was dreaming.

Just like now.

Ben was tempted to do something mischievous while she slept, but he found that watching her sleep was more entertaining that messing with her. Reese was on full-throttle the moment she woke up. It was rare to see her slow down and relax her smiling lips, close her honey-brown eyes and be still.

He felt a sort of peace wash over him when she slept.

Risa stirred in her sheets for a moment, followed by a pinched whine. Ben paused his thoughts to pay closer attention. Her face was twisted into a frown, shoulders drawn high and back curling into a fetal position. The ghost stood and leaned over her.

Her nightmare face made him worry.

Risa began to hyperventilate into her pillow, sweat beading on her forehead. This wasn’t the first time he’d seen it, the last her sister came in with a paper bag to help slow her breathing. But Miria was out for the night at a friend’s dorm room, and her parents were too far from her room to hear her. Usually the dog was the first one to know something’s wrong, but he was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s the dog when you need it…” he muttered.

Ben gently took Risa’s head in his hands and knelt beside her. He thought about how to breathe and where the paper bags are, but his musings were disrupted when he felt a clutching sensation on his arm. Risa had grabbed him, squeezing until her knuckles turned white, and her face looking more pained than before.

The ghost looked at her for a moment longer before placing his mouth on hers.

Ben wasn’t sure of what he expected to feel. There was no warmth, no wetness, no feeling of soft skin, not even the smell of another living being. There was a brief shot of disappointment before his mind went numb again, and he slowly drew air into his lifeless body. He repeated his slow breathing until the girl responded and followed suit, her petite bosom steadily rising and falling. Her grip on his arm eased, light green nails gently scraping away from his skin.

When he parted from her, Risa’s expression was more relaxed than usual.

How odd.

Ben leaned her head back against her pillow once again and tucked the sheets around her shoulders, smoothing her hair from her face. The girl snuggled into the swimsuit boy’s bicep and huffed, letting him know that all was well.

He felt at peace once more.

That is until the dog stormed in and started growling senselessly at him.

Ame stood near the door, teeth bared and fur bristled along his back. Ben frowned and waved for the dog to leave.

“Go on, shoo! Scat!” he whispered.

All that did was send him into a barking fit.

Ben flinched at the sudden loud noise and scowled. “Will you be quiet?! You’re gonna wake her—“

“What…is it boy?”

“…up. Great.”

Risa sat up and yawned, rubbing her eyes. Ben frowned and shot an angry glare at the white puff still barking at him. He hated it when her sleep was broken.

Sion met her hands at her call, wagging his tail with the dopeyness of a puppy. She picked up the small dog and walked toward the door, cooing and scratching his ears, putting him down to let him run down the hall. Ben side-stepped out of her way when she came back to the bed, flopping face down.

“Hi Ben,” said a muffled voice.

The ghost shook his head. “Why does your dog hate me?”

“He just doesn’t know you yet…give him some time…he’s still a baby…”

Risa turned her head and gave a smile, barely visible in the darkness, yet it still kept him from looking away.  This also happened sometimes, where he’d be captivated by the gentle expressions more than the extreme ones. Both Ben and Risa were becoming more accustomed to each other’s presence, and every day made it easier to engage one another. Ben still kept to himself and wasn’t the most eager to talk sometimes, but his short, curt responses became few and far between, just as Risa knew to tone down her excitement just a little bit.

Her boundless energy exhausted him sometimes, but he didn’t mind.

The girl rolled over and ran her hands through her back length hair. Ben remembered when she dyed lilac and powder blue streaks throughout the already cotton candy strands, poking fun at the strips of foil. He couldn’t deny the end result, however. Her hair was a work of art.

“Can you go back to sleep?” he asked, making a move for the TV screen.

“Well…not right now. But maybe with this!”

The ghost turned to see her holding up a strange black globe with holes punched in its surface, its edges sharp and square.

“What…is that thing?” he asked smugly.

Risa shot up from her bed and crouched behind the nightstand, tugging the power cord out to the center of the room.  Ben watched as she took pillows and blankets from her bed and threw them on the ground in a circular fashion, the globe in the center.

He walked toward her hooking up the cords to the globe. “What are you doing?”

Risa smiled as she turned on a bedside speaker, syncing her ipod with it. After a few more screen taps and the sound of window curtains being drawn, an ambient chorus sang through the room, quiet enough to not disturb anyone else. Stretching out on the body pillow, she pat the pillows beside her, smiling invitingly.

Ben cocked an eyebrow in suspicion, but he felt around for the space and slowly crouched down. His hand grazed hers and he clumsily retreated, falling on his side with a thud. Risa giggled quietly as he adjusted himself to lay back, grumbling irritably.

“Why is it so dark?”

A soft click answered his question, and stars exploded in front of his eyes.

Risa smiled and gently folded her arms over her stomach. “This is why.”

The globe softly hummed as it turned, stars dotting everything in reach. Ben stared wide-eyed at the galaxy right at his fingertips, speechless. The vibrating waves of the ambient music shook the ground beneath him, and they seemed to have a calming effect on him. His thoughts ceased to run wild. The ever condescending voice in his head shut up.

It was him, the stars, and the girl who made it all possible.

“…this is one of my favorite things Ben…” Risa murmured softly.

Ben turned to look at her and bit his lower lip in thought. “…why?”

The girl outstretched her hands in the air, closing her fingers around the specks of color. “Stars are incredible don’t you think? They’re like the gems of the sky, the shining diamond necklace of the world. We see them every night and don’t think much about them…but everyone has seen them all in a different way. Everyone has experienced them in a different way. And there’s so many you can’t even count! And the ones we see in our sky have lived and died billions of years ago. There are stars we don’t even know exist, whole galaxies out there we haven’t discovered…but we know they’re there. I believe that’s how the world keeps living on. ”

Ben’s eyes flicked toward her suddenly. “How so?”

Risa’s voice softened as she let one arm fall to her side. “Can you imagine? If each star represented one person on earth, can you imagine all the stories each one would tell? All the things they’ve seen, all the places they’ve gone…all the tears and happy memories they have? The ones that make up our night sky are no longer with us, but they exist in us. Their memory is alive. And who knows what the stars we’ve yet to see are capable of? I think…there’s hope in that…knowing that your star is waiting for you to discover it.”

The girl turned her eyes to meet his, and Ben was once again transfixed by her gentle eyes and warm smile. A lump formed in his throat, but there was one question he suddenly needed to hear the answer to.

 _Her_ answer.

“So…you think there’s hope for me then? I can still find mine?” he asked, almost too quiet to hear.

Risa’s eyes seemed to glow with the stars in her eyes, the galaxies in her hair. She held his hand in both of hers and squeezed it gently.

“I do,” she said earnestly. “I really do Ben. The fact that you’re here right now means there is hope.”

Hope for what exactly? Ben knew better to pray for the impossible, he was sure he grew out of that bad habit. He knew certain things could never be changed. Though he didn’t really believe in this hope Reese talked about, he couldn’t deny that a small part of him began to doubt that his fate was sealed. Something was changing within him, and it was because of her.

The pressure on his hand had to mean something, right?

“Risa…” he began.

Her eyebrows arched. “Yeah?”

He tried his best to return the feeling on his hand, and Risa gasped softly, her eyes widening.

“Thanks.”

 

* * *

 

 

You didn’t go back to sleep after all.

Usually your music and the star globe helped you like a lullaby to a baby, but your heart was especially restless tonight. Ben had already fallen asleep with your hands around his, his face the most peaceful you’ve ever seen it. You had to refrain from reaching out to touch his face. You didn’t want to wake him up.

Your thumb kept stroking the outside of his hand absently, though still cold to the touch was oddly soothing. His face when he asked you if you believed there was hope for him flashed through your mind like a mantra. It filled you with this foreign feeling of grief and despair, and you could only hold his hand tighter.

How long was Ben like this?

“You poor thing…” you sighed, taking his hand closer to your face.

Nothing pained you more than another's sadness.

You began to wonder about how he must have felt, wandering around the world without being seen or felt, just not there. Not even ignored. You wanted him to be happy. You wanted him to smile and laugh, to enjoy living. You wanted him to share personal things with you and be there for him when he needed you.

You wanted him to feel alive again.

No matter what it took, you’d make sure that happens.

You decided it when his grip tightened for only a second.

“That’s what I’ll do…no matter what…”

You gently kissed his forehead as the sunbrightened the sky.

"I'll help you find your star."


	4. Quiet Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *waves cutely*
> 
> This one is so...I just...*cries*
> 
> We hit 100 views you guys! Thanks so much to all my readers! I really appreciate it <3
> 
> Happy reading~

“Happy birthday!”

“What the—Reese?!”

A waterfall of girlish shrieks and laughter ends with an abrupt thud on the ground. You lay straddled on top of your sister, your head resting on her round bosom as you caught your breath. Miria rubbed her eyes groggily, frowning at the sudden wake-up call.

“Ugh…why on earth do you always get up so early? It’s not even eight yet…”

You sat up and poked her left boob. “You’re always supposed to be up early on your birthday. That way you can get your full 24 hours of me-day and do whatever!”

“Easy for you to say…morning dove…” she groaned, pushing her unruly hair from her face. A sleepy green eye peeked up at you through dainty fingers. You smiled brightly and mashed her face in between your hands, earning squeaks and kicking legs in response.

“Happy birthday to my favorite sister ever,” you said in a sing-song fashion. Miria shook her head pinched your cheek, a sluggish yet warm smile on her face.

“Silly…I’m your only sister.”

“Not true. Kierli’s my sister too.”

“Biologically speaking.”

You snorted. “Who knows? Mom and dad might have another baby.”

“At their age? Dad’s like, ancient. There’s no way mom’s having another one at 40.”

“She’s still pre-menopausal. Maybe it’ll be an oopsie-daisy.”

“Oh my god Reese! I don’t need that image in my head right when I wake up!”

“Happy birthdaaaaaay!”

You giggled when Miria shoved you off of her and stood in her usual flustered manner. She pat her desk for the glossy red frames and elegantly put them on her face, yawning as more of her hair fell down her shoulders. As she fluttered about her room, you couldn’t help but stare at the way her hips swayed with every step, the way her chest bounced lightly underneath her gauzy nightgown. Miria was very pretty, always has been, yet she didn’t see what the fuss was about. You could preach and harp on about the effect the tiny mole beside her lower lip had on both male and female, but she wouldn’t believe a word.

You unconsciously cupped the empty air around one of your breasts and pouted.

It was just so _unfair_.

“Uh…Reese? What’re you doing?”

You looked at your sister who stood ogling you with wide eyes.

You grabbed both of your petite breasts and squeezed.

“Where the hell are my boobs at.”

“P-pardon??”

“How come you got all the tit genes? Share!”

“Whu—huh?! R-Reese stop groping me!”

“Sharing is caring! Barney said so! Obey the dinosaur!”

“Oh my god quit it! T-this is…h-highly inappropriate!”

“OBEY!”

The bedroom door swung open and your father stared slack jawed at the sight of you on your sister’s back and hands clutching her chest, Miria’s face on the verge of turning the color of a ripe tomato.

“…I see you guys are up?”

“G’morning girls!” chimed your mother, walking past your father with a laundry basket.

“Hey mom!” you chirped back.

“Risa…c-could you please get down…you’re a bit heavy…”

“Oh yeah!”

You jumped lightly to your feet and skip past your dad, saying hello on your way out, making your way back to your room. Miria straightened and placed a hand on her chest, sighing deeply.

Your dad still hung on the door, looking even more confused. “Did she just—“

Miria stopped him mid sentence and just shook her head. “Try not to think about it.”

 

The cool breeze of autumn wafted through your window, making you shiver in your pajamas as you closed the window shut. Leaves had already converted to shades of brilliant reds and oranges, golden yellows and rich browns, and the rooftops of every house was bathed in the soft light of the early sun peeking above the clouds.

You took a deep breath and rubbed your hands together.

Time to party.

“You look excited. Way more than usual,” echoed a static voice.

You grinned and skipped to the bathroom. “It’s Miria’s birthday today!”

“And that means what exactly?”

You could practically see him waving his hand around in the air and rolling his eyes. You started to brush your teeth and talk at the same time. “It mweans whe parteh harr.”

“It means we what?”

“Whe parteh!”

“For what? It’s just a birthday. There’s no point in getting all excited over it.”

“Yesh thar ish!”

“…I don’t get you humans anymore. There’s nothing worth celebrating about being born.”

You had to pause and look over at the TV.

Say _what_?

You stayed quiet as you finished your morning routine, walking from the tile while you dried your face with a towel. You find Ben hovering near the window with his hands in his pockets, gazing outside with his back to you. The sun shone straight through him, illuminating the darkness in his form. His hat was gone this time, letting his golden hair hover freely in the air.

Then, he turned his head to face you.

His eyes were full of emotions you didn’t know the name of, as usual.

Yet lately, they held a softer tinge to them when he looked at you.

That look made your heart stutter every time.

You stood a few feet away from him and cracked a smile. “Didn’t you have birthday parties and stuff like that on your birthday?”

Ben looked towards the ground for a moment in silence with the most forlorn face you’ve ever seen. “…I don’t remember.”

It felt like your heart was hit with a freight train.

“Even if I did, it wouldn’t have meant anything. What’s the point when all you do is die right after?” he asked.

Your breath hitched in your throat. His sharp eyes _demanded_ an answer.

“…you celebrate the birth because it’s the beginning of new life. You celebrate the achievements and the failures that brought you here. It’s for living right here and now, and having all those experiences that makes you you…”

“…”

“I mean…sure everyone dies one day…but the fact that you made it to another birthday alone is worth celebrating. It’s for being alive, Ben…despite everything you’ve gone through, you made it here, alive.”

The ghost turned away from you and huffed through his nose. “If you say so.”

You frowned and let your shoulders sag. How could someone who lived in a perpetual video game world be so cynical? Your eyes traveled to his hand in his pocket, remembering how it felt to hold it in your own. You clenched a fist under the towel.

Suddenly, you felt the need to hold it again underneath a flurry of butterflies in your stomach.

“Ben…?” you whispered, slowly coming closer to him.

He stayed quiet, letting his head drop.

“I know I can’t change the past for you…and I know I can’t ever undo what’s been done…”

You hesitantly reached for his wrist, your fingertips shaking nervously.

“…but…maybe I can…”

Your fingers ghost over his skin.

“…I can…”

Ben glanced at you only to freeze, his face appearing confused yet expectant. You flinched away from him slightly, but to your surprise, he eased his hand from his pocket and slightly reached for you.

It became very hard to talk. Warmth pooled in your chest and flooded every nerve. All you could do was stare up at the ghost with pained black eyes, the red center locked on your face.

“Maybe you can what…?” he murmured softly.

Your heart thrummed in your ears, so loud it was nearly deafening.

Yet it seemed to be the most natural thing in the world to follow it and slowly intertwine your fingers with his.

It didn’t stop you from hearing someone’s footsteps walking towards your room though.

Both of you looked at the door and jumped away from each other, you clutching the towel to your chest and Ben immediately disappearing from sight. You turned just in time to see him phase back into the TV screen before your mother’s curly red hair bounced into view.

“Hey honey, c’mon down for breakfast. We’re having all the good stuff dad made.”

“O-okay…I’ll be down soon,” you stuttered out. Your voice was very weirdly high-pitched, even for you.

Your mother noticed immediately and walked toward you. “You alright Reese? Is there something in your room?”

Right on the money, this woman.

“Uh, n-no! No no no it was just a house centipede!” you said, flailing your arms. Your mom placed her hand on your forehead, an eyebrow cocked the way she does it when she was confused.

“Did you sleep with the window open again?”

“Yes?”

“Thought so. Your face is red all over.”

You blinked in surprise.

You were blushing?

She smiled and ruffled your hair. “Don’t go catching a cold on your sister’s birthday now. It’s October, not August.”

“R-right…”

“No orange juice smoothie for you Reesie. I’ll make you some tea.” Your mom tapped the door on her way out of your room and her voice rang down the hall. “Be down in 5!”

“Okay!”

You leaned on the door for a moment longer and glanced back at the TV screen. You breathed a heavy sigh of relief only to panic even more than before. Why did you both scatter like cockroaches under a light? You were the only one who could feel ghosts nearby, let alone see them. It wasn’t a problem before when people came into your room when Ben was there. He’d glitch out any electronics guests were using sometimes, but even that stopped after a while. He would stay in one spot by the window closest to your bed and watch, not making a move or sound. Then he stopped coming out all together during the day.

You gripped your shirt tightly.

 Everything was normal before.

What changed all of a sudden?

 

* * *

 

 

Ben kept his eyes closed for a long time.

The inside of the TV was full of black and white static and computer chips gleaming with logarithmic lights, microscopic bulbs of red, blue and green blinking randomly. It used to be noisy and full of voices he couldn’t care less about, but he learned how to tune them out easily, falling in and out of what he guessed sleep was at any given moment.

When it was quiet, he’d leave the screen just to be outside.

He couldn’t stand the silence.

But right now, it was all he wished for.

Ben clutched both sides of his head in distress and opened his eyes to darkness. He didn’t like what he couldn’t understand, and he was the most foreign subject to himself.

The ghost was accustomed to numbness, his memories slowly crumbling to dust while he could only wander helplessly. Emotions left him and boiled down one burning sensation in his belly, the one thing he knew for sure called anger. He was devoid of his senses long ago. Nothing meant everything, and everything meant nothing all at once. It was how he continued to exist since the day he died, and he didn’t feel any reason to change it.

He shouldn’t be feeling…whatever this is.

It’s been happening for as long as he’s been with her, this weird…thing…bubbling up inside him and making his mind go quiet for a while. All he could focus on was her eyes. All he could hear was her voice. All he could feel was her touch, though barely. He didn’t understand why his will diverted to her automatically. He thought he’d forgotten how to desire things a long time ago, but now…? What made him like this? Why was he like this now?

What _is_ she?

A loud cheer sounded from beneath him. It was definitely Risa’s voice.

Curious, he phased through the layers of wood and metal to find the living room full of people he didn’t recognize. There were soft blue banners hung around the room, a larger one made out of iridescent letters. He saw Miria sitting in the center of a large crowd of people all pressed together, smiles on their faces and light in their eyes. A cake with decorative blue roses on it sat in front of her, the number 21 lit up like a candle. She blew the candle out suddenly and loud cheers rang from everyone in the room.

He scanned past the faces he didn’t recognize and searched for a pair of honey brown eyes.

What he saw, he immediately disliked.

Risa sat in between a couple of people Ben guessed were her friends, one of them a taller dark-skinned male with feathery white hair and marble eyes. His hands kept touching everyone around him, but no one seemed to mind. Risa would lean in close to his ear and talk to him, and he’d respond with something that made her laugh. Ben frowned.

…only he could make her laugh.

The other was fair-skinned and stoic-looking, his hazel green eyes trained solely on her. He seemed the most bored when he wasn’t talking to Risa, otherwise animated and expressive. Ben’s eyes narrowed when he leaned on her shoulder and not Miria’s, the much bustier female sitting right beside him. The ghost gradually began to scowl even more as he watched them interact with each other, unconsciously clenching his fists.

Then he saw his eyes linger on her a second too long than the other guys in the room did.

An instantaneous anger blossomed in his chest.

He didn’t understand why it was happening, but he didn’t care.

_Risa is **mine**._

The mother spoke to everyone in the room and they collectively began to walk out of the front room, that annoying white puppy tagging close behind Risa’s legs before she picked him up and tickled his ears. She left out with the rest of their group, leaving Ben to his lonesome in the middle of the room.

His jaw tightened and he clawed at his chest with both hands.

Something was tearing him apart.

 

Rain began to pour outside in sheets. Ben returned to his perch at the window, listening to the mutter patter of raindrops hitting the foggy glass. The anger had subsided and dulled into a quiet storm in the back of his mind, and he tried to keep his mind off of what he witnessed earlier. Too many questions floated around in his head. Why was Risa so okay with that guy being so close to her? Did she enjoy his presence more than his? He knew he wasn’t the nicest person in the world and he could be hard to deal with sometimes, but who could blame him?

He’d been dead for so long counting the days became useless.

But did she really prefer that guy over him?

Then another thought struck him.

Why did he care? Risa was only a distraction, something to toy with using his infamous mind games. She was nothing more than a means to an end, and as soon as he’s bored with her, he’d disappear. She didn’t mean anything to him…he didn’t know what it was like for someone to mean anything to him anyway.

Right?

Ben looked down at his hand and gently closed it.

He wasn’t so sure now.

But he didn’t have the time to wonder much longer. He could smell something burning from downstairs.

“…wait.”

… _smell_?

Since when could he do that?

Ben immediately darted from the bed to the kitchen to find a frenzied Risa waving around a burning match in her hand. He heard her hiss and curse under her breath, watched her adjust a single candle on a haphazardly made cake on the counter. The ghost cocked his head in confusion. Miria already had a cake. Why was Risa lighting another one? Did people have multiple cakes on their birthdays?

Then her eyes met his.

Everything stopped.

Whether it was the dark lighting of the kitchen or the soft glow of candlelight reflecting in her eyes, Ben soon found himself very entranced, and very confused.

Risa blinked in surprise and quickly smiled the way she did when she was caught off guard. “H-hey! I was gonna bring this upstairs…but I guess I don’t have to now,” she said nervously.

Ben swallowed thickly. “What’s this?” he asked. His voice was no larger than a mouse.

Risa carefully picked up the plate and walked towards him, something unfamiliar shining in her eyes. Band-aids and tiny nicks riddled her delicate hands, and smears of chocolate icing were all over her face and black sweater sleeves. She chewed on her bottom lip nervously and looked everywhere but him, shrugging her shoulders up and tucking her head in towards herself. There was even a faint hue of pink in her cheeks.

Ben’s face contorted even more.

What the heck was this?

She took a deep breath and held the cake out to him. “Happy birthday Ben!”

_What?_

The ghost couldn’t respond right away.

“…what?”

“I know it’s nothing like how Miria or dad bakes…it’s a little hard and I think I burned this part a bit here, but I promise it’s edible! The icing is really good and I know how much you like chocolate so—“

“Risa, what is this?”

Her face fell and her shoulder’s drooped again. “I remembered how sad you looked earlier…when you said you didn’t remember when your birthday was…I just, I felt so terrible for you and…I had to do something…”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?! Saying happy birthday when you know I don’t have one anymore! What are you trying to do?! Why do you even care?!”

_Stop it._

Risa physically flinched away from him. “I-I just wanted to make you feel better!”

_Just stop it already._

_“Feel?!_ I’m dead Risa! I don’t feel shit! I can’t _feel_ anything, don’t you get that?! There’s no point in you trying! Why do you even care about someone who’s dead huh?! I-I’m not even a someone anymore…I’m just…I don’t…”

_Don’t look at me like that._

Tears of blood began to fall from his eyes.

“…I’m nothing…”

_You’re tearing me apart._

Risa quietly put the cake down on the table and walked up to Ben. Her eyes were glossy with tears.

“Ben.”

“What?”

_SMACK!_

Ben held the side of his face that’d been hit, and he whirled on the girl watching him.

“What the hell was that for?!”

“Did you feel that?”

“Fuck, _yes_?!”

Then she did something quite unexpected.

Risa softly cupped his face in both of her hands, her face very close to his, and simply stared at him while he looked back at her wildly.

“…what are you doing?”

“…do you feel this too?”

His chest tightened. He _did_ feel it.

And it was so soft, like a whisper of a downy feather resting in the palm of your hand.

“Y-yes,” he croaked out.

Risa’s brows pulled tightly together and she eased her forehead onto his.

Ben couldn’t move. It felt like his entire body was a live wire of electricity.

“And this?”

Ben nodded slowly.

“…I wasn’t trying to mock you Ben…I wanted to show you what it would be like to celebrate you being here. I wanted to celebrate getting the chance to meet you and being your friend.”

“My friend?” he repeated. It sounded so foreign, actually claiming her.

For a moment, he wished that she’d call him something else. Something _more_.

“Mhmm. You’re my friend and friends care for each other no matter what. They can laugh and cry and complain and feel upset, but they do it together. Especially birthdays.”

Risa lifted her head a little, smiling brightly. Her thumb gently wiped his tears from the edges of his eyes, staining the grooves in her skin red.

“You’re not dead in the way you think you are,” she said softly. “Your body may be gone, but your spirit is still here. _You_ still exist. To be dead would be to lose all trace of you being here…yet here you are, right in front of me.”

A torrent of unfamiliar warmth filled his being suddenly. Ben looked away from the girl and weakly shrugged out of her grip, unable to look her in the eye. Looking at her face did things to him.

“…just leave me alone. You have friends already…ones that are alive. You’re only wasting your time on me.”

“Ben?”

“…please.”

Without another word, the ghost vanished from sight, leaving Risa and a dimming candle in the dark.

 

* * *

 

 

Staring at your hands, you huffed.

“And after all that work to make that thing…it was super hard too.”

You reapply the last of the bandages on your fingers and wiped the icing from your face. Mom and dad had to leave for work, and Miria was out practicing with a couple of her band friends. Even Sion was gone, having a puppy play-date with one of the other members’ pets. The house was quiet save for the steady patter of rain and the occasional groan of the trees bending with the wind. Your room was dark with the dull grayish-green of the sky.

It only added to the depressing cloud hovering above your head.

You glanced at the TV, noting the dull static feeling in the air.

Ben was definitely here, but he wouldn’t be coming out for a while.

Sighing heavily, you padded your way to your bed and flopped down face first, your thoughts overflowing. After some thought, you supposed it was a bit insensitive to bake him a birthday cake. You didn’t know how sensitive of an issue it was to him. You thought he’d be happy that you thought of him even though it was your sister’s birthday…but it obviously backfired on you.

You shut your eyes to stop any tears threatening to spill.

You had the purest of intentions, but you always seemed to mess it all up.

“Way to go Reese,” you muttered.

You looked back to the dark TV screen. You thought you were making progress with the stubborn ghost within the few weeks he’s been with you, but any efforts you’ve made to strengthen your friendship with him were tossed out the window. It was why you didn’t ask about his former life or where he came from. You figured he’d tell you himself when he was ready.

All you wanted was to be his friend.

You briefly recalled the morning, the look in his eyes when you held hands with him.

You could feel your face heating up.

…was that all you wanted to be to him? Just a friend?

Somehow it seemed…empty.

Before you could muse any further, a loud crash sounded from your window.

You jumped from your bed and immediately fell to the floor.

You saw lightning flashing right above you, followed by another loud crack of thunder.

Fear quickly took you and you dived for the covers on your bed.

Since you were little, the sound of thunder always scared you out of your wits. Rather than run to your parents like most kids your age, you took to the closet, hugging your special stuffed lion with a thick quilt on your head, using the counting trick your mother taught you.

The setting was different now, but the fear was still the same.

You pulled the largest blanket over your head and squeezed your Makoto Tachibana body pillow tightly, burying your face into it as you cowered and weakly counted.

“One…two…thr—eek!”

Then you heard your curtains shifting. Something was being tugged around your room. You stilled your breathing as best you could and waited.

You then felt a weight settle beside you.

“Huh?”

What feels like a pair of arms wraps around your abdomen.

You poked your head from beneath the quilt in curiosity, only to be shocked motionless.

A pair of starry red irises met yours.

_“…Ben?”_

To say you were surprised was the biggest understatement of the year.

The ghost was only a few inches from your face, looking at you calmly as stars danced around his cheekbones. You blinked a few times, thinking you were seeing things before you realized he had turned on your star globe. His arms were wrapped around you in an almost protective manner, gentle and secure. The fear you felt subsided the more you focused on his face, a serene sense of calm and warmth taking its place.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

His new tone of voice stirred your heart. You looked away from him and opened your mouth to respond when thunder exploded above your head. You flinched hard and buried your face into his cool chest, clutching onto him.

“I-I’m afraid of thunderstoms!” you squeaked.

Ben gently hugged you closer to him, petting your hair in soft caresses. “Count with me then.”

You looked up at him.

“…that helps right? The more you count, the further away the storm.”

Both of you stared at each other in silence before you meekly began to count, trembling like a wet kitten.

A few more claps of thunder sounded outside, but you kept counting in unison with the ghost, letting his comforting touch make your eyes close. Eventually you forgot about the storm and focused on the voice in your ear, the repetitive strokes in your hair relaxing you.

You opened your eyes to the warmest expression you’ve ever seen on Ben’s face.

He stared back at you for a while before making a move to get up.

You grabbed his shoulder.

“What’s the matter?”

You couldn’t look at him, feeling much too embarrassed.

But you couldn’t deny how wonderful it felt to have him close like this.

“Can we…stay like this a little more?”

“…”

“…Ben?”

You heard him shifting around you, spooning you from behind. His arms didn’t leave you.

“Yeah…yeah we can…”

You close your eyes once more, smiling softly.

His hand almost instinctively found yours and lightly squeezed. You returned it.

Time fell still.

And soon, the clouds broke apart.


	5. Bare Nerves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm so sorry this took so long to get out. Work has been keeping me super busy lately, gomen |D  
> Anyway, here's the next chapter! A little longer than normal, but well worth the trip. You'll see what I mean <3
> 
> Happy Reading~

_Maybe one day I can heal you, and give back what you’ve lost. And even if I can’t, I know that I tried for you. And that’s got to mean something right?_

 

Crimson eyes flicked your way.

“Are you sure you want to?”

Chocolate brown eyes met their gaze.

“Y-yeah…I’m sure. For sure I’m sure.”

“…give me your hand.”

“Like this?”

“Mhmm, hold still.”

“Like…this?”

“Perfect…now don’t move, okay?”

“Okay.”

“…I’m going in now.”

“—! Nn!”

“Sorry, was it too much?”

“No! Keep trying, I’m okay.”

“Tell me when it’s too much for you…I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Haha…when did you get so attentive? You have a really cute side too, huh?”

“Idiot! This is dangerous and I could really hurt you!”

“But you’re being so gentle…”

“Gh—! Tch! T-try to move already!”

You flexed the apparition that was now your hand.

“Woah…wow Ben!! Do it again!”

The ghost shook his head at you and reached into your hand again, pulling out a transparent version in between his fingers. You squealed with delight and wiggled your ghostly fingers around, Ben smiling softly at you.

“There. Are you happy now?”

You watched as your transparent hand phased back into your real hand and flexed it.

“Not until you take me into Tamriel,” you replied, a mischievous smile playing with your lips. Ben blinked with confusion and tilted his head. It was all you could do to restrain yourself from petting his head like a puppy.

“Skyrim, remember? The game I want to go into?”

Ben’s eyes widened to saucers. “You mean the one where they try cutting your head off straight off the bat?”

“You know it!”

The ghost watched you throw your fists in the air and fall over soon after, banging your head on your nightstand table with a loud _thunk!_ He slapped a palm to his forehead and pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing through his nose.

“This is why we can’t have nice things,” he muttered above your hissing.

You rolled onto your side, peeking at him from under your cream-colored sweater sleeve, feigning a pout. Ben stared at you before huffing a laugh and standing to his feet, stretching his arms above his head. “Nhg, I can’t do that. Too risky.”

You immediately shot up from the floor, flailing your arms. “Aww why not?”

He rolled his shoulders, lolling his head to the side, and possibly unconsciously showing off his toned chest. “Like I said, it’s way too risky. And besides,” he continued through a back stretch, “you don’t know how to astral project.”

You paused. “Astral project? You mean that thing the little boy did in Insidious?”

Ben finished flexing his back, his muscles bulging from underneath his shirt. You had to look away for a moment. “The ability to project one’s soul from their body, basically be a living ghost. You can only do that on your own.”

You frowned and began to pace around your room, Ben watching Ame jump up from his pillow and follow you around until you stopped suddenly, making the poor puppy crash into your ankles. You scooped up the tiny ball of white fur and scratched underneath his left thigh, smiling at how his little legs thumped in response.

“Well you just pulled my hand out, right? Can’t you do that with my whole body?”

Ben coughed suddenly, making Ame jump in your arms. “I uh, um, I don’t know. Don’t know.”

The ghost watched you smile slowly and took a step back. “...oh no. What did I just do,” he whispered.

You giggled and twirled on your heel for the door. “Well then, we just don’t know until we give it a shot, right?”

“Uh…?”

“I’ll be right back. I gotta take my son outside so he can bless the earth with his navel juice.”

“…the hell is wrong with your mind?”

You began to skip away and halted suddenly. “Hey Ben?” you questioned, turning around to face him. Ben stiffened and looked back at you.

“What?”

“…why’d you leave in the middle of the movie by the way? You didn’t look so good so…I didn’t ask then.”

The ghost’s face turned grim, and he took to the air, not looking at you.

“...too close to home.”

 

 

Risa was too excited to fall asleep anytime soon. No matter how much Ben stressed that she fall asleep first, she couldn’t stop wiggling around in her sheets, feeling giddy. The ghost explained that he would literally be taking her soul from her body and that alone should be scary to her.

But who has time to be scared when they’re about to go into their favorite video game?

Ben could at least understand that much. He didn’t want to admit he was fairly excited to see this new world she wouldn’t stop chattering about.

Brushing off his worries, she curled up in her bed and waited for drowsiness to set in.

Soon enough, she was lightly snoring into Makoto’s left ab.

Ben waited. And waited and waited and waited until he was absolutely sure she was out of it. He lightly shifted off of her bed and checked her face, watching closely for the slight twitching in her eyelids. After a few moments he found himself really looking at her, the thickness of her light brown eyelashes, the slight perk at the very edge of her nose, the freckles across her cheekbones, her cupid’s bow shaped lips.

He vaguely remembered when he touched them for himself.

Ben found it strange how his mind seemed to wander right back to her no matter what he was doing. Even now when he need all of his focus, he couldn’t help but murmur what had been on his mind lately.

“…she’s kinda cute.”

Risa stirred slightly and Ben froze. Did she hear him?

The ghost mentally slapped himself _. Of course not_. This girl could sleep through a storm.

Ben backed away and flexed his fingers. “Okay…let’s give this a shot.”

The ghost hovered above Risa’s sleeping body, facing her. Glancing at his hands, he conjured up his power to phase through, diluting the saturation in his arms. Seeing that they were almost invisible, he closed his eye and reached forward.

A brilliant gold light blazed underneath his eyelids, taking the shape of a sparkling orb in between his hands. Ben hesitated momentarily before closing his hands around it, watching it spread from an orb to the form of a person, and then the familiar silhouette of Risa’s shape.

_This is her soul…this is Risa…_

Ben opened his eyes and nearly dropped the weightless girl in his arms.

Risa’s soul dimmed into a transparent version of herself, her eyes still closed and her hair gently floating in the air around her. The golden burst of light filtered down to a sunset orange, specks of light floating up and away from every inch of her body and dying out when they floated too far from her. Ben gazed at her face in awe. He’d never seen a living soul like hers before, one so pure and bright. His eyes wandered to the magnificent galaxy that made up her hair. Curious, he ran his fingers through the strands, marveling at how they glided through his fingers and yet they kept the web of stars together.

Ben lightly shook her. “Hey, Reese…wake up…”

Risa’s brows furrowed together lightly and she slowly opened her eyes.

For some odd reason, the sunset rays changed to a peach glow.

“Wow…you’re awfully bright…” she whispered, sleep still in her voice.

Ben couldn’t respond to her right away, transfixed on her eyes.

Risa tilted her head slightly, the light now shifting to a bubblegum pink. “What? Is there something on my face?”

He watched her pat her cheeks and stare at her hands, her amber-toned eyes widening. He watched her look through her arms and down the rest of her body, shrieking when she noticed she was naked and immediately turning a bright rosy pink from head to toe. He watched her propel herself away from him, floating through the air as gracefully as a seasoned swan and losing her grace the moment she saw herself on the bed, still fast asleep. He watched run and cartwheel around her room, popping in and out of walls, reflecting light wherever she went, her smile limitless.

“Haha! Look at me! I’m all shiny and stuff! Oh my god will you _look_ at my _hair_!”

Her voice sounded like bells.

“Dude is this what it’s like being a ghost? I mean of course I said before how cool it was you could fly and everything but _dude_! I don’t even care that I can’t fly like you just, how awesome is _this_?!”

Her laugh was the sound of wind chimes.

“Ben?” Risa paused her games and looked at him inquisitively, her hair framing her face.

Her eyes were the sun.

The ghost didn’t notice the words that slipped past his lips.

“…you’re so beautiful,” he said.

Risa made a hushed, strange noise, folding her arms around herself and locking her ankles together. Her shoulders pulled high beside her tucked head as she turned her face from him, her eyes downcast. For a moment Ben feared he’d made her upset. He didn’t recognize this body language from her.

Yet when she smiled, her glow gently brightened the room, and a surge of warmth embraced him.

“Thanks,” she whispered, the soft twinkling of wind chimes ringing in his ears.

The two of them stared at each other for a while before Risa giggled in embarrassment and ran her hands through her hair, Ben clearing his throat and scratching his nose.

“SO! Let’s go inside already!” she said suddenly, making a dash for the TV screen when the ghost appeared in front of her in the blink of an eye. His arms were outstretched defensively and he shook his head.

“Not like that!” he warned.

Risa frowned, her glow changing to a cyan color. “Why not?”

Ben flicked her forehead and put his hands on his hips, noting the smirk his starbomb made at the gesture. “You have no idea what’s in there or how to navigate. If you go running in there all reckless you’ll get lost on the wires and sucked in as abstract energy. So, to prevent any mishaps, we’re going in together.”

And with a flick of his wrist, he offered her his hand.

“…together, huh?” Risa repeated. “That’s a first for me.”

She quietly took his hand, tangling their fingers in the way that made them most comfortable. The room brightened with her sunset glow, and a feeling of tenderness spread in his chest. Ben turned his eyes to her and blinked at the slightly darker tones in her cheeks.

“…me too.”

Ben pulled Risa into the air with him while holding her hand firmly in his, fighting the urge to snatch away from her when she giggled and poked his cheek.

“Haha, you care about me!” she jested.

“I-I’m just avoiding any weird accidents! Stop saying weird stuff!” he retorted.

“But you doooo! Look, you’re blushing!”

“I am doing nothing of the sort and I refuse to talk about this any further we are going in now!”

Tugging the girl close to him, he wrapped another arm around her waist and phased into the screen. The moment they immersed into the sparks of electricity and glowing lights, Risa clung to Ben with a sudden urgency. Before his worries could force him to go back, he saw the biggest smile he’s ever seen on her face, eyes alive with the excitement of facing the unknown.

Somehow, he felt himself grow calm, and he ventured forth with a question on his mind.

Did he just call her _his_ starbomb?

 

* * *

 

 

At first there was darkness and silence.

And then there was the brilliance of the high noon sun.

“Ow…man that’s bright!”

You lifted your arm to shield your eyes, but you noticed something off about them.

Or rather, what you were wearing.

“Huh?”

Guarding your forearm was a furred bracer with thick slabs of fitted metal on the outside, small goat horns pressed closest to your knuckles. Your hands even bore scars and scratches of every kind. You sat you body up and looked around, a steadily growing euphoria building in your chest. Every one of your nerves tingled as your mind reeled from what you were seeing.

Then you suddenly jumped up and pat yourself all over.

“Oh my god…we did it…we did it!! Ahaha Ben we made it!”

You whooped and hollered at the top of your lungs, spinning in frenzied circles as the reality of it set in.

You were finally in your favorite game of all time.

“I’m in Skyrim!”

You breathed in the sharp northern air highlighted by the pines of the forests you stood in the middle of. You recognized this area as the last place you saved, noting the small bandit hold a little further down a dirt road. You squealed and looked around your waist for an all too familiar weapon.

“Skyforge steel sword, honed to a damage of 60,” you said, twirling the blade in your hands. It was much heavier than you thought it would be, but your body seemed accustomed to the weight of the gleaming sword, your finely sculpted arms flexing with every move. You sheathed your blade and opened your left hand, a small golden light hovering directly over your palm.

“Healing spell around 72!”

You pat your chest with a fist, smiling at the light chink the metal buckles made. ”Enchanted scaled armor with defense of 80!”

You looked up towards the clear blue sky. Risa the spellblade was alive and well.

You noticed the satchel slung around your waist was now open to your access, and you felt inside to find a journal worn at the edges. You flipped through its pages and skimmed though the old quests you’ve completed, letters from jarls of various holds and miscellaneous notes you’ve picked up over your travels.

“Looks like I’ve got a Companion’s quest…wait, holy cow! The Companions are _here_!” you squealed. Stationed in Whiterun, the Companions were your favorite guild with its diverse set of characters and winding rollercoaster of a storyline. You grew attached to the members of the circle, enjoying the adventures you had with each of them. It was fulfilling role, fighting so that others don’t have to.

Not to mention that you lived among werewolves.

You closed your journal and packed it away into your satchel, preparing to set off on your course when you heard a disembodied groan somewhere behind you. You fwipped around with your hand on the hilt of your sword, you red hair flying into your face, and waited.

“Get off of me!”

You’d know that clear voice anywhere.

“Ben!” you cried, running in the direction of his voice.

“Risa?! Is that you?!” he shouted. He sounded like he was in a lot of distress.

It only made your legs move faster.

“Hang on! I’m on my way!” You leapt over jutting rocks and fallen tree trunks, noting the sound of growls as you came closer. You reached a clearing where a small pack of wolves stood surrounding a tall gold-skinned man, his long silvery hair trailing down his bare back. He slowly backed away from the approaching trio of wolves with bared fangs, his arms outstretched.

For some reason, there was nothing but a white cloth around his waist.

You sputtered a laugh and clutched your stomach. “Why are you naked?!”

Ben jumped and nearly screeched when a wolf jumped at his hand. “I don’t know! Quit laughing and help me will you?!”

You slid down the hill and pulled Ben behind you protectively, drawing your sword simultaneously. The wolves grew more agitated and made a running start for you, and you met them head on with a few quick slashes of your sword and the agility of a gymnast, catching the canines under their bellies when they leapt at you. Blood splattered all over you and you pushed Ben away from the airborne carcass coming his way, already making your way to the next wolf with a neat arch straight across its side.

“Uh, hey, Reese!”

You turned to see that the last wolf was on its way to taking a good bite out of Ben’s face. You ran full speed at him and yelled, “Duck!”

The moment Ben crouched, you rolled off of his back and sank your sword into the wolf’s left jaw mid-leap, the sound of crushed bone and warbled crying wringing in your ears. You waited until the wolf went slack on the sword and let it slide off the blade, falling to the ground as dead weight.

You smeared the blood out of your eyes and turned to Ben with a smile. “Missed me?”

The high elf that was now Ben stared up at you with liquid topaz eyes, wide from shock and amazement. “You…you’re Risa?”

You put your hands on your hips, smiling proudly. “Did I just save your naked butt, yes I did. How epic was I?”

“Y…you’re Risa. This barbarian lady with a sword. This is your character.” Ben looked you up and down skeptically, seemingly afraid to admit that this was indeed you.

“Breton, mind you. And I’m not a barbarian, I’m a spellblade.” You sheathed your sword and nodded proudly, flinging the blood from your hands. “Haha I figured this place was pretty dirty with all the fighting going on all the time, but it’s still so great! The air is so clear here…and the sky is…woah! Look!”

Ben followed your finger pointing at the sky above you, lightly gasping at the sudden change in atmosphere. The sun was already setting.

“I forgot how fast time moves around here,” you giggled, reaching for the fallen Altmer.

“A little too fast,” he muttered, taking your hand and pulling himself up.

You weren’t trying to, but as Ben stood up in front of you, you stared hard at the long, dorito-shaped torso rippling with sleek muscle, the elegance in his face and long limbs, the seductive, smoldering eyes covered by a few strands of sleek long hair. Your eyes even wandered to the limp white cloth hung loosely around his hip bones.

You unconsciously bit your lower lip as heat flooded your face.

“Anyway, I think we should find something for me to wear. From what I’ve seen you can kill people and take their armor, right?” Ben turned away from you and started to walk a little farther ahead of you, showing off his long, slender legs and petite ass.

Your hands flew to your nose and you desperately covered it.

You didn’t know if you could have a nosebleed from this, but you didn’t want to find out.

“It’s safer to move before nightfall, right?” he asked, turning to you and flinching from your current expression. “Uh…are you alright?”

“Mmhmph!”

“Is there a reason you’re covering your face like that?”

“MMHMPH!”

“Are you going to tell me what it is?”

“MMNMMPH.”

You speedwalked past him and set off for the dirtroad, leaving a very confused Ben in the dust.

 

 

Ben was sure he knew fantasy, but he’d never imagined how much better it would be to explore it with someone else by his side. Risa once again surprised him. He didn’t take her to be the warrior type, but watching her fight off the wolves right in front of him changed his point of view instantly. The Reese he knew was clumsy and accident prone, spontaneous with the way her energy spiked and dipped at any given moment, not at all the focused and graceful fighter he saw just a moment ago.

But this Risa was stunning, just like her soul.

Perhaps it was because he was in a game world so new to him, or he had a host body he wasn’t used to yet, but the way her body moved did things to him he didn’t know what to call. Instead of pink, her hair was as brilliant red as her mother’s, long and thick. She was around the same size as her human self, but she was strong and able-minded, had complete control of every move her body made.

And this time, her eyes were as blue as the ocean.

When she attacked an entire bandit hold herself, he got to see once again how incredible she was. He was fearful of her safety the entire time, seeing seven hulks of muscle come after in steel armor and heavy-handed weapons. Yet Risa was swift and light on her feet, catching the men in their most vulnerable spots when they last expected it. Bodies fell left and right. No one could touch her.

As soon as the hold was cleared, she called him to the highest point in the tower and presented him with a chest full of unsuspectingly good armor, even a spell book for a bow and endless arrows. She looted the ruby and aquamarine bottles of potions, and playfully put an obsidian circlet around his head. By the time Ben had fitted himself with the leather armor, Risa had climbed to the top of the tower to watch the northern lights dance with the stars.

“This beats my star globe any day…” she sighed wistfully.

Ben remembered their late night conversation about the stars suddenly, and all the newborn emotions that came with it.

The ghost climbed up to sit beside her, gazing up at the streaks of green and purple and letting his eyes fall back to the girl. Her eyes closed as the wind ruffled her hair, little torchbugs flitting past her and leaving small beads of light as they went.

He scooted closer to her.

“Thank you, Ben,” she whispered, placing her hand over his.

Ben’s eyes flicked down to their hands and toward her. “For what?”

“Bringing me here, taking the risk to show me what it’s like to really be alive.” Risa smiled at him and hugged her shoulders. “It’s freezing out here but it’s so great. I don’t mind the cold.”

Ben looked away for a moment. “You’re cold?”

“Hm? Yeah, but it’s no big deal. I can—“

It happened so quickly, even he didn’t realize what he was doing until it was too late. Ben’s eyes opened to Risa’s shimmering blue irises right in front of him, highlighted by the lights in the sky and wide with surprise. He blinked and pulled away from her slightly, only to notice the slight wetness on his lips and the faint glimmer on hers. Risa’s face was unreadable save for the obvious shocked expression. She didn’t move an inch or say one word.

Then she nibbled on her lips, and her face darkened with blush.

“…still cold?” he asked in a hushed voice.

Risa shook her head, touching her fingertips to her mouth. It was a _very_ sensual sight.

Ben felt the familiar foreign sensation deep in his belly, as if there were millions of tiny butterflies fluttering about, looking for escape. He felt as if his heart was racing and he couldn’t bear to sit there any longer, but he didn’t want to move. He felt ridiculous and wonderful all at once, and his mind was numb from the torrent of feelings flooding his system.

Ben was _feeling_ , and it terrified him.

He suddenly wanted to leave.

“We need to go,” he said stiffly. “You’ve been out of your body too long. I need to put you back in before some other entity takes it.”

“O-oh…okay…”

Risa stood up behind Ben, taking his outstretched hand and holding onto it loosely. The ghost noticed it immediately and regretted his actions just as quickly. He’d never felt so ridiculous, mimicking human behaviors like that.

“Let’s go.”

 

 

Phasing back into her dawn-lit room, Ben let go of her and watched her walk towards her body. Her previous sunset glow was now a peach color that bounced off the walls. Risa touched her body and disappeared into a burst of golden specks that nestled underneath her skin.

Finally, she awoke and looked around for the ghost.

“Ben?” she called.

His hand was already half-way into the screen, but he stopped. He didn’t turn to face her. He simply couldn’t.

He was already scared of the fact that emotions started to arrive again, and he knew now that she was the cause of all of his confusion, but it was shame that kept him from moving any closer to her. He shouldn’t have done something that he didn’t know the full consequences of. He feared that Risa might hate him for what he did, and he couldn’t face that sort of reality. She was the only one who was kind towards him even when he was cynical and mean to her. She didn’t stop greeting him every morning even though he told her to. She went out of her way to make him feel included in her everyday life, talked to him and showed him her world. She even made him a birthday cake when she knew she was terrible at baking, and all he did was yell at her and treat her unkindly. Risa was the one good thing Ben had ever known in his endless days of wandering.

Before Ben knew it, Risa became a necessity.

Perhaps kissing her was his way of apologizing to her for all the things he made her go through. He’d seen her parents do it in that way before and he thought that he could show her what he couldn’t say. He was unsure, insecure and afraid that the one person he cared about wouldn’t want to be around him anymore, and this made him even more depressed than he already was.

But even in the midst of his fretting, Risa managed to surprise him yet again.

He felt a light pressure on his shoulder and he was spun around too fast to process what happened next.

Then a sudden bloom of warmth coated his eyes.

Risa stood on her tiptoes and held his shoulders in a desperate grip, her nails digging into his skin under his clothes. Her eyes were squeezed shut with the frantic tension all over her body. She was a bundle of nerves, nervous and stiff.

But her lips were the softest, warmest sensation he could’ve ever imagined.

Ben didn’t know what to do next. He stood debating whether or not he should move when Risa moved away with a light smacking sound, the pleasant feeling on his lips fading with her. After a moment, he found the courage to speak.

“How do I do that?”

Risa’s face immediately flushed darker and she turned away. “Wh-I don’t know! I-I’ve never kissed before!”

“No, I mean, what you just did. How do I do that?”

For a moment she was speechless, staring up at Ben with a look of disbelief. After seeing that he was sincere with his question, she tried her best to explain. “Um…well uh…you could put your hands here,” she began, guiding his arms around her waist. “And I guess…my hands go here…” She slipped her arms around his neck, lightly pulling him closer to her. “Then we hold each other close…”

Ben hugged her body close to his own as if on cue, looking at her evenly when she yelped in surprise. “Like this?”

Risa looked back at him and did the same, drawing Ben’s face closer to hers. “Right.”

“So then…” Ben murmured only a few inches from her lips, his eyes on the verge of closing, “do I…just…?”

The girl smiled a little and nodded, letting her eyes fall closed.

The first time Ben kissed her, it was an experimental little peck, mimicking what he’d seen other humans do over the years but never got to try it himself. There was no feeling, no emotional give in his kiss. It was no different than kissing air.

But this was a flurry of emotions and sensations, and the overwhelming sense of belonging to someone. They were clumsy and nervous, yet they eventually found a rhythm, small giggles and forehead touches sprinkled in between kisses. He could feel the frantic beating of Risa’s heart against his chest, the irregular breathing they both shared, the timid touches their hands made. He was nervous and delighted, terrified and at peace, only because of the girl he held in his arms. The rest of the world faded. They were the only two in existence.

Ben then felt something stronger swell in his chest. Though he didn’t know their specifics, he knew that his feelings were not only because of Risa, but they were _for_ Risa. Certain ones were only felt when she was near or around another person. He felt things clearly when he was with her, just as he did now. He didn’t remember smiling once before she stole him away from the manor. There was a tie between them, a root that connected him to her in a much deeper way he didn’t know was possible for him.

…was he falling for her?

The minute this thought popped in his head, there was a loud pop in the room and a collective powering down noise. The two of them jumped and Risa separated to look for the source, but Ben knew what it was already.

He accidently shorted out the power box in the basement.

Ben chuckled when he heard Miria shriek and stuck his hands in his pockets, patiently waiting for Risa to return. He floated back to his perch at her window and looked outside.

“…sure is bright today,” he said to himself. He dipped his head in a small laugh and looked toward the bedroom door.

For the first time in much too long, Ben couldn’t stop smiling.


	6. Something New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaay what's up everyone! Anyone?....Hello? XD
> 
> So it's been 400 years since my last update. I'm so sorry, please don't be angry with me T^T  
> Depression is one hell of a writer's block I tell ya.  
> Nevertheless I managed to come up with a new angle for the story. I hope you guys will take to it well! I also left a few hints at future stories in this fluffy chapter. I wonder if you'll pick up on them, hmmmm >:D
> 
> I want to say thank you oh so much for still sticking with me after all this time, to everyone who left a comment or a kudos or just looking in general. I keep saying it but it means so so much to me that you're enjoying the read. If you're happy, then I'm happy ten fold ^^ 
> 
> Enough of me! Enjoy the story! 
> 
> Happy reading~

When you opened your eyes, you immediately wanted to close them again.

Apparently soul traveling was rough on the body. Your bones felt heavier than lead, your head still foggy with fatigue. Late sunlight poured through the seams of the curtains in your bedroom, dotting your face unevenly with bright beads of waning light. A lone sparrow cooed underneath the windowsill, urging you to get up. Reluctant, you propped yourself up on your elbows and rubbed your eyes.

“Evening, sleepyhead,” said a relaxed voice.

You looked above your fingers and spotted the fringe of messy blonde hair through the pastel-colored mess that was yours. Brushing back your tangled locks from your face, you grinned sleepily and yawned.

“Heya ,” you drawled, curling the pillow back underneath your head and closing your eyes again.

You felt the familiar chill of his presence running across your skin as he descended to your eye level, settling on the bed rail in front of you.

“Are you going to get up or what?”

You smiled at the chip of annoyance in his voice. It sounded so childish.  “Nope.”

He huffed quietly and was silent for a while until he started poking your nose.  The fuzzy pressure tickled. “C’mon already…I’m bored.”

You continued to ignore him when he pinched your nose suddenly. Your eyes flew open and you began to giggle. “Okay, okay, I’m up! I’m up!”

Ben snorted, laughing. “What’s up with your voice? You sound so weird!”

“You’re holding my nose! Ack, Ben! I’m awake now, okay!” You flailed about uselessly, your smile growing right alongside his.

It didn’t seem like the ghost heard you. His laughter spilled over your ears and you stilled for a moment, watching him. Ben took notice of your pensive stare and took his hand from your nose, blinking at you in question. “What?”

For a moment, you thought you were just seeing things. As you leaned toward Ben, a tender feeling warming your chest, you realized what you were seeing wasn’t an illusion. “That’s…baby blue…” you whispered, your voice soft.

Ben’s eyebrows arched a little, and you could see a light flush appear on his cheeks. “Uh…?”

You moved closer, your brows furrowing.

His lips parted slightly.

“Since when…were your eyes baby blue?”

Your question seemed to snap him out of whatever fog bank he was in the middle of and he blinked repeatedly. “Huh? Never, they’re always red.”

“But they look normal! I wish you could see it in a mirror. It’s such a pretty color,” you beamed.

Ben averted his gaze quickly and scratched his cheek, his face growing red. “Really? C-cuz I always thought…you know…yours were too…”

You couldn’t help but squeal and squish his face between your palms, earning muffled complaints from the ghost. Ben was being much too adorable for you to handle. He reached up and held your hands in his own, shooting a half-hearted glare your way that only made you smile more.

It was the prolonged eye contact that reminded you of what went on between you two just hours before.

The memory began to fold over itself. Regaining sense in your own body. Your vision a little dark but seeing Ben clearly trying to get away from you. Grabbing air and spinning him around. A pulsating chill on your lips. Again. Again. Arms around your waist. Pressure on the back of your head. Your cold hand holding onto his. A quick peck at the corner of your mouth.

The jolt that rocketed through your soul.

“Weese? Can woo wet me go mow?”

Cat-like eyes bathed in soft pink light looked back at you moodily. You swallowed as you felt your face burn and you took your hands from his cheeks. “S-sorry…eh hehe…”

His eyes narrowed a little, but his hands held onto yours, absently rubbing his thumbs across your knuckles.  He tilted his head, continuing to stare at you while you blushed even harder. “…what’s going on? Your face is really red now.”

Unable to wiggle away and hide from him, you took a deep breath and met his gaze. “Um…I just remembered…that, well, I...we kissed and it’s embarrassing to think about…” you said through the rambunctious tumbling in your gut.

“Hm? Why’s it embarrassing?” Ben blinked innocently, as if he really didn’t know what it implied.

You were certain you were bright crimson by now. You already began to sweat nervously. “Wha-I-well-I mean…you only kiss someone you really like and…”

Ben seemed to think about this for only a second and looked off to the side. “If you only kiss someone you really like, wouldn’t that mean that you really like me?” he asked. A teasing smile found its way on his lips.

As if this wasn’t hard enough to talk about, yet you found yourself nodding your head yes in an awkward confession. “Well, yeah. I do like you, but kissing is something only lovers do!”

“Okay, so then what’s the problem?”

Your eyes widened. “Huh?”

“I kissed you first, so that means I liked you first.  And when you kissed me back, that means you liked me back, right? That makes us lovers doesn’t it? I think that’s how it goes anyway…I haven’t had someone this close to me before so…” he smiled sheepishly and his bangs fell across his eyes. “…I’m not really sure…”

You felt your chest tighten as the tender feeling spread. Lovers? But how was he able to come up with that conclusion so fast? Didn’t this just happen today? How do you just decide you’re in love with someone like that? You hardly had time to think before he leaned in and gently pressed his lips against your cheek. You felt something dizzying rush to your head as the rest of your body grew warm the longer he stayed.

“Ben…?” you whispered.

The ghost pulled away from you, a hazy look in his eyes, and smiled to himself. “I knew it. I only feel like this when I’m with you. I don’t know what to call it…it’s my first time feeling this way.”

You wanted to say something, anything to break this strange hold this boy held over you, but the words wouldn’t come. All you could do was stare at him with wide eyes and listen.

Ben closed his eyes and spoke in a soft voice. “It feels very warm and comforting, like I’m home. I can feel your hands and how warm you are. It’s…so new…”

“Ben?” you called. You cupped his face with one hand, causing him to open his eyes. “When we were in the game…why’d you kiss me and run away like that?”

The ghost looked off to the side, leaning in to your touch. “It was…because I felt like I should apologize. For being mean to you and everything. All you did was try to help and be a friend to me and I kept you at a distance. I saw your parents do it once, so I thought that would be the best way to tell you I’m sorry.”

You cracked a smile and giggled besides yourself. “Y’know, it would’ve been easier to just tell me than to surprise me like that.”

“I guess,” he smiled.

Ben continued to look back at you when he touched his forehead to yours, closing his eyes once more. You blushed, baffled by how affectionate he was being. Though you weren’t quite sure of how you felt about the ghost yet, you knew that you cared for him greatly, probably more than you realized. Deep down, you wanted something like this for some time but were too afraid to pursue it. The fear of rejection was too strong for you to express interest in anyone, boy or girl. Yet this wandering spirit found you and decided to stay with you, learning about your world and trying to be a part of it as much as he could. The affection you yearned for came from him, a boy who had lost his memories of being alive for being in limbo for so long.

Just because the source wasn’t of this world didn’t mean you wouldn’t accept it.

You felt the urge to tell him in the way he attempted an apology.

Your eyes fell on his mouth and you lightly guided his face forward with your hand, curving it around the base of his neck. Ben seemed to be at ease and complied, his eyes still closed lost in thought. The embarrassment you felt earlier turned into a growing anticipation the closer you came, your eyes slipping closed. Ben caught on rather quickly and followed your lead, his grip tightening around your fingers.

A moment later, you heard knocking on your bedroom door.

“Risa? Are you awake yet?” It was Miria.

You shot Ben a frenzied look, but gaped when you saw he was no longer there. “What in the f—“

“Oh! You are up!”

Miria sauntered in with a sleepy smile. She had just come home from band practice, her violin case strap slung across her chest. Your sister walked over and sat next to you on your bed and flopped her body over yours, effectively pushing you onto your back. You saw Ben on the ceiling like Spiderman.

“How’d you sleep?” she asked, muffled by your shoulder.

You sighed, the tension leaving your body. “I really needed it. Had a dream I was in that painting with the dogs playing poker.”

Miria breathed slowly and shifted her position to look at you. “You slept in all day. Must be nice having weekends to yourself.”

“I’m not musically adept like you are. I wish I could play an instrument or something like that. Plus you get to hang out with our friends more than me,” you said, scratching your nose.

“Just Travis. Nick had a volleyball game today and Alvah had something to do. We made this lovely duo together though! I don’t know how he does it, playing piano and guitar too. And he’s so fluid with his playing style…he’s going to be something incredible with his talent.”

You looked at Miria’s emerald eyes, taking note of the bags beneath them. “I told you being blind was an advantage. He can just feel the music and be amazing at it!”

She nodded and rubbed her eyes drowsily. “Hey Mimi…are you getting enough sleep lately?” you asked.

Your sister stiffened for a second before looking at you nervously. “Well..um…I wanted to talk to you about something. It’s kinda embarrassing for me…please bear with me…” Miria sat up and looked away, folding and unfolding her hands in nervous habit. You sat up with her and crossed your legs, waiting patiently for her to speak. After a while, she worked up the nerve.

“I…I think I might be in love with somebody.”

You blinked in surprise and smiled wide. “Really? With who? Is it Travis?”

Miria laughed and shook her head, adjusting her glasses. “No silly. You know Travis is gay, how much sense would that make?”

“Oh yeah,” you chuckled. “So then who is it? Don’t tell me it’s Nick. I’d punch you if it was him.”

Miria gave you a sly smile. “Why’s that? Do you like him?”

“Ugh, no thanks, I’m good.” You cringed at the thought. Nick wasn’t a bad guy by any means, but you certainly weren’t attracted to him. He was too much of an over-protective brother to you. Strictly friend-zoned.  Besides, you had someone on your mind already now.

“So who is he? Is it someone we know?” you asked, returning your attention to your sister.

Miria shook her head and pulled her knees up to her chest. “No, I’m the only one who does. He doesn’t go to our school or anything like that. He’s just…someone I met by accident.”

You titled your head in confusion. “Accident? How do you meet someone by accident?”

“I was walking home late one night and I bumped into him on the pathway through the woods. You know, that curvy shortcut behind the highschool. He said I wasn’t supposed to see him there, but he was standing right there.” Miria’s eyes softened abruptly, making yours widen. You’ve never seen her look like that.

“..He’s definitely not nice. He’s loud and aggressive and he swears a lot but…but there are times when I can see him for who he is. He has a good heart, and he’s devoted and loyal and passionate about things that mean a lot to him. He can be kind and caring and really sweet too. I think…I think something really awful happened to him in the past and that’s why he’s like this now, but even so I…I want to be there for him. I want to be the person he comes to when he’s upset or just in need of helpful word or two. I want to stay by his side for as long as I can…”

Miria looked up at you with questioning eyes, her gaze warm and hopeful. “Even if it’ll look weird to the rest of society or whatever…even if he’s not what mama or papa would want for me…do you think I should still pursue this? Should I tell him?”

You thought about the ghost in your room and how oddly similar her situation sounded like yours. You wondered what would happen if you chose to pursue Ben that way, or if you decided that following a normal status quo would be better for both of you.

Then you remembered how fiercely your heart accepted his existence in your life.

Whoever this guy was, he sounded like the exact opposite of your elder sister, yet she wanted him regardless.  Miria was always extremely open-hearted and her intuition was spot on with people she met. You thought you’d be the last person to give her advice on relationships, given you didn’t know how to go about your own, but you ran with your heart like you always did.

“I think so! At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what anyone else has to say about it. It’s all just talk. If you’re sure that you love this guy and there’s no one else you’d rather be with right now…I say go for it.”

“Even if it has unforeseen consequences? What if my choice upsets a balance here? What about our parents? Their opinions matter too…”

You smiled and squeezed Miria’s shoulder encouragingly, causing her to look back at you. “I think what matters is how you feel about each other and if you’re both ready to take that step. Isn’t that the nature of  love anyway? It doesn’t make sense, but what you feel is real. It’s fearless. So why should you be afraid?”

Miria looks at you a while longer and smiles, grabbing your hand. “Thanks Reese…”

 

* * *

 

 

“All set to go?”

You stretched your arms above your head and nodded, buzzing with excitement. Ben agreed to take you back into the game again, this time promising to do a full quest run with you. You took his hand and hovered in the air with him, his free hand pressed against the screen. He tugged you close to him, and you wrapped your arms around him securely.

In a flash, the two of you went from the darkness of your bedroom to the wilderness of Tamriel.

You woke up by the side of a stream, the thick brush hiding you from the moon’s light. You brushed off blades of grass from your armor and took a quick look around.

“Ben? Are you close?” you called. Upon hearing footsteps behind you, you turned with a smile, only to find it wasn’t a tall, golden elf, but a short dark-elf with glinting red eyes.

A vampire.

“Hm? Look at this! Fresh blood! “ he said. The NCP crouched and opened his hands, a red light seeping from their centers. You rolled your eyes and grabbed the hilt of your sword, not bothering to summon any magic. A low level vampire was nothing but a quick slash to the stomach. You were going to draw your blade when you noticed something rather odd in the trees above you.

Innumerable pairs of beady blue eyes dotted the black leaves above you.

“…bats?” Since when were there bats here?

When the vampire threw an infectious gout of blood magic at you, they dispersed and surrounded the vampire in a cloud of beating black wings. You flinched back at the sounds of tearing and bones popping out of joint and watched as the tiny vampire has been reduced to nothing but a pile of ashes by a hoard of vicious bats. When the pile moved to a jutting tree trunk, you kept your hand on your sword and watched as it solidified into a singular body.

Though it was shrouded in shadow, you could clearly make out the gleaming topaz eyes and glistening silver hair.

“Ben!” you hollered, scaring any nearby animal away.

Ben reached up and rubbed his head, groaning a bit. “Yeesh…no one ever told me that turning in to bats would do this much to me. I’m exhausted already.”

He jumped down from the tree and into your line of sight, a light clinking noise coming from his armor. You saw the outline of a longbow on his back and the common silver lining of a steel arrow pouch. What took your attention was the indigo hue the bow emitted from the grooves in its body, and the red and black leather riddled with buckles he wore. For the second time today, Ben surprised you.

“When did you do the Dark Brotherhood quest? And now you’re a vampire too?!” you yelled.

Ben smirked and winked, showing his newly adopted fangs. “Can’t tell, brotherhood secret.” He walked past you down the road, the leather hugging his body in every place imaginable. You couldn’t help but zone in on his taught backside, blushing at how nicely his armor accentuated it. Everything about his body aggravated you by how utterly good it looked. It didn’t help that his face was a ten either.

Now thoroughly annoyed, you decided to reveal a little secret of your own.

“Hey Ben, hold up a second would ya?”

“Hm? What’s wr—e-eh?! Wh—Risa what are you—?!”

You looked up nonchalantly as you continued to strip yourself of armor, undoing the tiny knots that kept your body from being entirely naked. Ben gawked at you until you loosened the make-shift bra enough to slip off and flipped around, sweating bullets. You shimmied off your panties and stood still, taking deep breaths.

Then your body began to change.

Bones broke and reshaped themselves, bringing you down to all fours. You took shallow breaths as you watched your hands become paws, feeling the shifting of your organs and muscles stretching to impossible lengths. Red hair covered your entire body and you felt your teeth extend and sharpen themselves. Changing into your hidden form was a lot more painful than you thought it would be. Ben must’ve taken notice of your inconsistent grunts and turned to look at you.

What now stood in the circle of dirtied armor was a large, regal red wolf, currently shaking its entire body and licking its nose.

“R…Risa?” he muttered out in shock. You tilted your head back and gave a long, harmonious howl, scattering the birds in the branches above you. You tried walking on your new legs and quickly began prancing around in an elegant gait, your tail wagging happily behind you.

“…you were a werewolf this whole time weren’t you,” Ben said smugly, watching you jump from the fallen trees around you.

You gave a quick yip and nudged your clothes on the ground, looking at Ben to pick them up for you. Once he got the message, you began walking on ahead, smiling internally when Ben fussed over your things. The two of you walked side by side in a quiet silence, content by simply being with each other.

Neither of you noticed the red-eyed shadow stumbling behind you, blood leaking from its sockets.

Neither of you noticed what it consumed just moments ago.

Neither of you were prepared for what was to come.


	7. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hula dances in* Morning! I'm back!
> 
> You guys ready for things to get seriously terrible? Because I am >:D  
> I'm so sorry this took so long to get out. I had the worst case of writers block, bleh. But! We recovered! And I think you're going to like what I have planned. I made this one a little longer than usual to make up for the time lost. I'm really sorry ^^;
> 
> I hope you all enjoy the read! This will probably be the last super fluffy chapter *evil hamster laughing in the distance*
> 
> Happy reading!~

 Despite the thrill of battle and the ever-present atmosphere of adventure, simply walking around the vast forests of Tamriel was one of your favorite things to do. You often came across uncharted cabins and hidden caverns that beckon you inside with the possibilities of finding new treasures or meeting new challenges. You imagined trekking across the chilly tundra plains with your favorite brother and sister of the Circle, and let the feel of the northern air guide you forward.

You looked to your side and watched a pair of leather-clad thighs shift beside you, and you smiled.

Ben watched the sky as he walked, gazing up at the twin moons closely looming above. His silver hair danced gracefully in the air behind him, throwing slivers of pale light as it settles against his body. He took a deep breath and glanced down at you, his eyes relaxed.

You nudged his side and started to prance forward, trying to get him to run with you. Ben frowned and cocked a thin eyebrow at you.

“What is it werewolf?” he asked. You replied with a short whine and a wet nose to his hand, to which he snatched away and shook it.

Your ears perked up on the top of your head and your tail wagged a little. Being a wolf certainly felt foreign, but it was more fun than you could imagine. Your ears and tail seemed to work independently of your conscious mind, usually twitching at the sounds around you or Ben’s voice. You expected to look like the ferocious, feral werewolves the game coded for you, tall and lumbering masses of muscle with one hell of a mean mug face, though you certainly weren’t complaining. Your body was that of a mega fauna, elegant and sleek, covered in the red of your character’s hair.

You enjoyed walking, but you wanted to run around in your new body more than anything. You nudged the elf’s hand again and bowed in a playful stance, your tail wagging high in the air.

He looked at you quizzically when you started to run circles around him.

“Uh…what are you doing?”

You snorted and sped around him again, kicking up dead brown grass when you stopped in a crouch and barked.

Ben blinked at you in confusion and tilted his head at you. “You want somethin’ Reese? What is it girl?”

You resisted the urge to laugh. He was baby-talking you as if you were a puppy. You barked again, this time wagging your tail harder. Ben smirked and tapped his thighs to get you more excited.

Once you were sure he was excited right along with you, you bolted down the fields and into the thick brush once more.

“Ack—Reese! Wait up!”

You heard his light footsteps rushing behind you, yet you were faster of your slim paws. You twisted around the trees and leapt over fallen trunks in your path, and soon enough the elf was right beside you, panting but still going strong.

“Oh you wanna race huh?” he said, giving you a challenging look. You cockily sniffed at him and doubled your speed, pumping your legs faster as he evened up with you. Ben broke out into a full toothy grin and ran faster, his bow clinking against the metal buckles of his armor making a chiming sound.

When the two of you broke clear of the forest, you collapsed into each other and tumbled down a hill, flinging both his weapons and your armor into the scraggily bushes around you. You landed on irregular slabs of cobblestone, panting heavily and eyes closed.

But nothing could stop the exhilarating beating of your heart in your chest.

Ben’s head popped up a little way away from you, seeming to be in a little pond surrounded by mudcrabs. The elf cringed as he rose, brushing off the remains of one that was crushed underneath his back, and slowly made his way to you.

“Well that was fun,” he said, breathless. You moved to get up when a sharp pain stopped your cold. You whimpered a little when it happened again, reaching down into your arms and legs. Ben got to his knees and looked down at you with concern, his eyes carefully watching yours.

Then the sound of your bones creaking echoed in your skull.

Oh yeah. This form has a time limit.

You rolled onto your belly as your muscles stretched again, your bones cracking and reshaping themselves to that of a human skeleton.  Fur fell away in bunches to reveal your skin, newly grown appendages disappearing into your body once more. After lying still waiting for your body to readjust itself, you finally opened your eyes to pale rocks and a pair of studded boots. You sighed and laid your head down on the ground.

“S-sorry…I can’t stay as a wolf…for long…” you mumbled.

Instead of a snarky response, you got a choked wheeze.

Confused, you looked up and blinked at him.

Ben was rooted to the spot with wide, shocked eyes, an impossibly red blush covering his entire face. His body was terribly rigid, as if he were afraid to move. When you tried to sit up, he nearly screamed and his hands flew up in a frantic no motion.

“What?”

“Reese…Reese you’re um…y-you’re…”

He pointed down at you, his body turned away from you. You followed his finger straight down to your freckle-covered chest.

You were as naked as the day you were born. Right in front of him.

Both of you screamed and jumped back, you covering your chest with your arms while Ben turned his back to you. An awkward tension hung in the air and neither of you could say a word until a NCP Whiterun guard marched past, watching you both as he walked. Suddenly the cold air was very noticeable now.

“H-here.”

Ben held your armor out to you with his head turned, his face covered in a bright flush. You took it sheepishly and muttered a near inaudible thank you, quickly shuffling thin undergarments on. Grateful you had something to cover you up at least halfway decently, you stood and shimmied on the studded leather armor, sighing with relief.

“Okay, you can turn around now, oh fearless assassin. None of my terrifying lady parts are showing,” you joked, pulling your hair from the inside of back laces. Ben turned to face you with an ever-present scowl on his face, glaring at you from underneath his strewn silver hair.

 

“I wasn’t terrified, I was just…” His words died in his mouth as he watched your hair fan out from behind, falling in rich, fiery locks. You turned and looked at him quizzically as a smile played with your lips.

“You were just..?” you asked teasingly.

“…surprised,” he breathed out.

You felt the somersaulting sensation in your stomach again and you gasped a little, instinctively covering your abdomen with your sword hand. His eyes were half-lidded and warm, and you could feel a blush creeping up your neck. His eyes lit up slightly with curiosity, as if he had heard the tiny stutter your heartbeat made, and he smiled at you.

A gesture so simple yet it rendered your brain useless.

“So where’s the companions thing?”

Mentioning your werewolf family snapped you out of his spell for a moment and a new excitement began to take over. “Oh, they’re over in Whiterun! We’re pretty close to the hold so we should make it in no time.”

You skipped ahead and beckoned your friend to follow you, and so he did.

The night felt just a little warmer.

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m home!”

Risa’s burst through the doors was a customary greeting now, as everyone seemed to be used to the bouncing puffball yelling the moment she returned. She was warmly received by the other wolves, but that was probably because she had been a part of their pack for so long. There were two intimidating wolves, a pair of brothers that she seemed to favor. Farkas was the larger of the two, a simple but caring contrast to his brother Vilkas, a shrewd and calculative man and almost always seen reading. Aela posed as the den mother to her growing cub, the first Companion she’d ever met. The two practiced archery in the back of the lodge and were almost always together.  The spunky redhead seemed to be enjoying herself more and more with every passing moment, and it made the ghost more than content to see her this happy.

Ben was surprised at first that the NCPs recognized his existence, though it was static stimulus responses. They commented on his race and armor choices, sometimes about questlines he had started himself, but he entered no dialogue with them. He kept to the shadows and corners, watching the warm hearth in the center from afar and listening to the spiritual chiming in his starbomb’s voice.

It was all he could do to keep the sick feeling from overtaking him entirely.

From the moment he entered the game with his counterpart, Ben remembered what it felt like to be nervous. Anxiety coursed through his being like a turbulent storm cloud biding its time, but he hadn’t the slightest clue why. Risa’s soul was intact and safe, and there were no other entities near her body. Her connection to her body hadn’t even begun to wane. There was no danger, no threat.

What was making him feel so sick?

Ben looked over at Risa at the sound of her giggling, her face lit up by the fire as she smiled up at Farkas who was petting her head. Vilkas muttered something under his breath and he took another bite of his salmon, and Risa nudged him with her elbow, an eyebrow raised playfully. His gaze softened as he watched her, his fingers tightening over the leather covering his folded arms.

 _Boy_ did he fall for her.

The ghost leaned his head back against the cool glass of the window behind him, closing his eyes. It was a sudden yet easy descent. There was just so much to love about her. How she found almost anything interesting and new, how she was always curious and willing to try new things. How she can be both charming and childish at the same time. How she craved affections from him though she never said a word. How he in turn craved giving her affection in any way she wanted it and how he couldn’t ever get tired of giving it. He felt she was deserving of all he had to give, all because of what she said to him months ago.

_“You’re not dead in the way you think you are.”_

Risa recognizing his existence was more than he could ask for. His memories were very few and far between, but if all he could remember was her face and the way she called his name, he had no complaints. Very few things matter when you exist in limbo, yet Risa became more than just a pivot in his timeline. Whatever was left of him belonged to her, he decided. A ghost with something was better than a ghost with nothing.

Nothing was going to change how he felt about her.

“Feeling sleepy?”

Ben opened one eye to find himself level with a small chest laced with fiery hair. He quickly dismissed the memory of almost seeing her completely naked before it could surface and make him blush. He looked up and swallowed. Risa’s face was a little flushed from sitting in front of the fire, the outline of her body glowing with the tender flames behind her. She smiled softly at him and he had to look away then. Feeling these new sensations still scared him, yet he welcomed it. It was better than feeling nothing at all.

“Ghosts don’t sleep yknow.”

Her smile widened and made her eyes narrow affectionately. Ben looked back up at her as she gently grabbed his arm, urging him to stand up beside her. He complied without a word, watching her carefully as she led him to the doors of the lodge.

“We going somewhere?” he asked.

She nodded and winked, linking her arm with his. “Uh huh, but it’s a surprise. So eyes closed!”

He gave her a side glare. “What are you up to now?”

“It’s a secret!”

“Reese.”

“Ben.”

“At least tell me where we’re going.”

“But that would ruin it dummy!”

“Tell me what you’re up to. Now.”

“No chance.”

Ben groaned in annoyance, but he did as he was told and lightly pulled her closer. “Fine. But if I trip we’re outta here.”

“Oh c’mon you big baby.”

Ben felt her tug forward and he was met with the cool night air against his face, ruffling his hair.

He wouldn’t trade this for anything.

She meant too much to him now.

 

 

You were going to tell him.

No backing out, and no getting embarrassed. No chickening out at the last second.  It’s time you got this all sorted out for the both of your sakes.

A little way away from Whiterun was the perfect open plain for stargazing, and tonight held thousands upon thousands of glittering diamonds in the sky. It was perfect.

_Alright Reese, its go time. You got this. Just spit it out._

You came to a stop and hesitated for a second. Ben tilted his head toward you, his eyes still closed.

“Are we there yet?” he asked.

You bit your lip and nodded, turning him around to face you at first. You looked up at his calm face and blushed, staring at his long eyelashes and his taut cheekbones. Your eyes fell onto his slightly parted lips and heat flared underneath your skin.

On second thought, this would be easier if you _weren’t_ looking at him.

You spun around, his back against yours, and took deep breaths of cold northern air. After standing in silence, you opened your mouth to speak.

“…Ben?”

“Mm?”

“You can open your eyes now…”

The two of you looked up simultaneously and you heard him sigh. He must’ve figured you’d take him outside to see the stars again. Your arms fell to your sides, your hand brushing against his.

“…it’s impressive…” you heard him say after a while, his silver hair winding around your shoulders. The chilly breeze made you shiver, and you felt him press closer to you.

“Are you cold?”

You made a hushed gasp. He asked the same thing when…when he…

Your jaw set.

“Ben I…I need to tell you something.”

The elf was quiet for a moment, his head tilted down a little. “I’m listening.”

“…I’m so happy I know you.”

“…”

“It’s not just because of all the cool things you can do…I’m fascinated with you. You haven’t told me much of your past, but I can tell that you’ve overcome so much, but you’re still you. You don’t let things consume you like me. You’re brave and stronger than I could ever hope to be. You’re a ghost…but you do everything you can to live…you’re my inspiration to keep going.”

You let your head fall and your words were quieter, but they kept flowing as if you had no control over them. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears, feel it pounding in your chest. You were trembling, yet your voice was clear.

“You scared me when I first met you. I’ve seen ghosts before, but I’ve never gotten so close to one. But you are unlike anyone I’ve ever met…I was so happy to be your friend. I felt like I finally had someone by my side. I care about the others just as much but…I think…it’s different with you.”

He tilted his head to the side. “Different how?”

You were feeling dizzy, heat flashes making you sweat as more and more butterflies danced in your stomach. “Different…because…I, uh…what I mean is…”

_Say it. Spit it out. Don’t hold back now!_

You take both of his hands in yours, intertwining your fingers with his. He lightly squeezed your hands with concern, looking at you over his shoulder.

“Reese?” he called softly.

You swallowed and shouted at the top of your lungs.

“I think I might be in love with you!”

The moment the words left your mouth, you were caught in a suffocating fear. You shut your eyes tight as tension gathered in your shoulders. Rejection. Ostracizing. Belittling. Shame. Losing him as a friend. Never seeing him again. You expected all of it at once and you felt you couldn’t breathe. Questions raced through your mind on a speedway, renditions of ‘what will he say’ and ‘why did I say that’ repeating over and over again.

Ben let go of your hands and turned to face you. You could feel his body heat close to your skin and you flinched.

_Oh no I messed up again now he’s going to hate me and tell me to leave him alone what have I done I should’ve never said anything why did I say that I’m so—_

You felt a warm pressure on your cheek and another on your hand. You could feel yourself about to cry. The silence was utterly terrifying.

_J-just tell me you hate me already, don’t stall it anymore Ben. Please. Get it over with and say—_

“…I love you too, Risa.”

Your eyes flew open in shock.

_Huh?_

It was hard to read Ben’s face, something that was always so natural for you to do. He looked like he was going to cry himself, but also angry and confused? But he was smiling, right? What did that mean?

All you could do was stare back into liquid gold, glossy with tears and adrenaline.

His eyebrows pinched together and he wiped at your eyes with his thumb, his touch soft and gentle. “Don’t cry, Reese,” he said through a smile.

“B-but…but you…you were gonna…I t-thought you…I thought…”

Your words turned into blubbering as more tears fell freely from your eyes. Ben gave you a pained look but still kept his hands on your face, drying whatever tears fell onto his gloves. You reached up and held his hands there, bowing your head slightly as you rejoiced in a new exhausting feeling.

_Relief._

Ben was patient and watched you before closing his eyes and pressing his lips to your forehead, giving you calming little kisses until you managed to stop crying. You didn’t want to look at him; you were sure your face was a mess.

“Were you scared I’d say no?”

You nodded slowly.

He sniffed a laugh and pulled you into his chest, one hand against your back and the other in your hair, his fingers lightly scratching your scalp.

“Did you forget that I said it first?”

You shook your head no.

He sighed and hugged you close, burying his face in your neck.

“Silly girl. Don’t you know that my feeling won’t ever change?”

You weakly called his name, and he shuddered against you.

“…I’m so happy, Risa. You’ve made me so happy…”

Eventually your arms began to move and wound themselves around his back, hugging him closer to you, and you sighed. You suddenly felt very tired. That had to be the most stressful thing you’ve ever done.

“…let’s go back,” you murmured.

“Alright.”

 

* * *

 

 

You didn’t want to get out of bed, but you wanted to feel his touch again. You made yourself sit up and looked around. Your room was dark and moonless, shadows covering most of your room. You looked to your side to find Ben sitting beside you, looking off into the darkness with his hands folded.

Without saying a word, you leaned against him and watched him turn toward you.

There were so many new emotions swirling in his eyes, so many new feelings you couldn’t decipher yet, but his warmth and fondness proved ever existent. You were sure he could see the same thing in your eyes when he smiled a little and looked away.

“…you finally said it,” he whispered.

“Were you surprised?”

“You always manage to surprise me Reese. This one just made me remember what joy felt like…I’m feeling a lot of emotions right now, it’s scary.”

You grinned and laid your head on his shoulder as the silence stretched farther between you two. If he wanted to stay quiet, that was fine with you. You wanted to revel in the moment just as much as he did. He laid his head against yours and took a long breath through his nose. You could tell what he was thinking now.

“…I’ve thought about it for a while before telling you. I know it’ll be a lot different than being with a regular human, but I’m not a regular human either…so you don’t have to worry about anything, Ben. Believe me when I say I’m not giving up anything to be with you.”

“…what about later on? Won’t you want to get married and have kids? I can’t give you those things…” His hand found yours, and you took it greedily. “I couldn’t take that from you.”

You sighed and pressed closer to him.

“Well…you can’t lose what you never had, right?”

“What do you mean?”

It never grew easier to talk about it, not even with your family. It was your own personal curse you had to bear alone, but if it was him…maybe…

“…I can’t have kids Ben.”

You waited for a shocked response, but it never came. Ben squeezed your hand in his but didn’t a word.

“Endometriosis. I got it diagnosed when I was really young, and it was hell. I was in so much pain every month because of the growths and I had surgery after surgery to remove them…but they just kept coming back. The doctors couldn’t figure out why mine was so severe so they…they opted for a hysterectomy just to make life livable. I would be the youngest patient ever to have her uterus removed.”

You swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. “So yeah…I’m not a regular human. I won’t be missing anything.”

Ben stayed quiet longer than you expected him to. Perhaps you told him too much about your personal stuff? He didn’t need to know all _that_ about you, you figured. You wouldn’t blame him if he thought you were broken. You thought so yourself anyway.

“…when I was alive, I had a huge tumor sitting on my brain. Nobody knew that it was a tumor until the autopsy revealed it. I had cluster headaches almost every day and my vision was god awful, but I couldn’t even afford glasses. The orphanage had better things to do than worry about a sickly child who played video games all day.”

Your eyes widened. A tumor? And untreated no less…

“I was frail and weak from the start…whoever left me there did so in the dead of night, so by the time I was found, I was blue and barely breathing. I wanted to be someone else…someone strong and useful…I think that’s why games appealed to me so much. They let me be that person I knew I could never be here. It was my escape to greater things…my escape from my broken body.”

You wanted to protest, but you forced yourself to keep quiet. You waited patiently for him to continue instead.

“…I know that you blame yourself for it. That’s the kind of person you are. You’ll take the brunt of whatever happens to you and tell everyone that you’re okay when you really want to cry. You probably cursed yourself for being born the way you were, and for being a burden to the ones who cared for you. But if there is one thing I know for certain, none of it is your fault Reese. You were dealt some shitty cards, but you didn’t chose the deck.”

He turned to look at you, a protective and calming aura surrounding him. “ _You_ are not broken. _You_ are not missing any pieces. _You_ are not anything less than human. And _you_ are not to blame.”

You were rendered speechless. You felt tears sting at the edges of your eyes, yet a smile was growing on your lips. It was the very thing you needed to hear for years, a sense of peace for a guilt you carried since you were 11 years old. You bowed your head and pressed your face into his shoulder.

“Thank you…” you whispered. “I…needed to hear that.”

He chuckled softly by your ear and he squeezed your hand again. You felt his fingers lightly guide your face up towards him, and looked up to see his face already flushed and his eyes half-lidded.

“Can I kiss you?”

You giggled. Like that was even a question anymore. You closed your eyes, waiting for him to close the few inches that separated you from him. You heard him take in a breath and he leaned in, gently fitting the slant of his mouth against yours. It was a tender kiss that made you melt against him, eliciting a soft moan from your throat when his hand wound into your hair. Ben tilted his head more to the side, experimentally licking at your lips to gain entrance. You were mildly amused by how much research he must’ve done to figure out how this worked.

You opened your mouth to meet his tongue, and he made a short gasp that made you smile against his lips. It was certainly different than normal kissing, much more involved and intimate, but you found you liked the way he cradled your face as he kissed you. It was slow and careful, much like how he handled you. Ben pulled away from you, his thumb gently rubbing your cheek as he gazed down at you, flushed and hazy-eyed. You wondered fleetingly if you looked the same when he winced.

You blinked away the fuzzy feeling in your head when he held his head in his free hand. Was he feeling okay?

You didn’t have a chance to ask him. His hand vanished from yours.

An uneasiness started to rise in your belly.

“Ben?”

What answered you was a metallic, warbled groan off in the darkest corner of your room, and you immediately felt your nerves spike. You got up cautiously and tried calling him again, only hearing more of the strange noises in response. You froze.

The room was filled with a malevolent chill.

It was the same as the presence of a spirit.

 “Ben? Are you okay? What’s going on?”

Suddenly he appeared in front of you, eyes wide with panic and fear as his body glitched sporadically as if he were a mere projection. You backed away and watched his once human eyes revert back to their ghostly black form, his mouth stretched open in a silent scream. You broke out into a cold sweat.

“What the…hell?”

Ben levitated as his eyes began to drip a dark liquid down his face, his head now bent at an awkward angle. The room grew colder and you could see your breath in white puffs.

Then you felt your stomach plummet down to your feet when his eyes locked onto yours.

Your feet were leaden appendages, but you forced yourself to move away. Something was wrong. _Very_ wrong.

You heard whispering around your ears, too many voices speaking too fast for you to understand what they were saying. You looked back at the ghost hovering close to you, his eyes staring straight back at you. You shuffled backwards until you were pressed against the wall. You slid down until you were sitting on the ground, shivering from the cold.

Slowly, he trapped you in between his arms, the same thing he did when you first met.

It dawned on you then what was happening.

“Ben. Wake up.”

It was starting, much stronger this time. You were getting desperate.

_“Ben.”_

His pressure was immense and suffocating. You were starting to gasp for air.

“Ben please stop!”

He leaned closer to you, the crimson pupil taking on an eerie glow. Didn’t he hear you?

“Please stop, you’re scaring me!”

He paused for a moment, long enough for you to catch the hint of recognition in his eyes. Then, without warning, he glitched away from you and disappeared. The room lost its chill and you could breathe. You looked back at the TV, taking in greedy gulps of air.

An ominous feeling still clung to the walls.

Something had arrived.


	8. Arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slides in on a hardwood floor*
> 
> It's Halloween homies.
> 
> Hey! I'm back! I apologize for the random hiatus. Lot's of stuff has been going on over here. I recently moved, then I started a baking internship, not to mention school and job hunting, so yeah. Very very busy XD  
> But! Not only is it the best month of the year, it is also the best day of the year, and what better way to kick off the ending of libra season with a 15 paged update? Exactly. I made this chapter extra long for everyone to enjoy for the final hour of All Hallow's Eve, and I hope everyone had a great time trick-or-treating! Please be safe partying or haunting or Netflixing or whatever it is you do for this glorious day! >:D
> 
> A very quick but very special thank you to the new readers (especially you Gracie, you are too cute >//

_A dimly lit hall made up of cords and wires, sparking and short fusing._

_Screens lining up the walls as they flicker and hum with white noise._

_You look down at yourself, blazing sunlight in the midst of the darkness, and take a step forward._

_You look up. The thick wires coil endlessly above you, heaving with strain as if you stood within someone’s lung._

_You look behind. Inky darkness so thick you could feel it watching you._

_You look ahead and slowly walk towards a column of pale light, your body gradually dimming to a normal human shade._

_As you pass the screens hung haphazardly around you, memories of your time with Ben play on a loop. The first time he arrived. The sight of his sleeping face. The birthday cake. The star globe whirring softly behind you as stars speckled his fair skin. His hand outstretched towards you. His annoyed expressions. His content smiles. His permanent scowl._

_The further away from the darkness you get, the more your face pops up on the screens._

_You look strange. Not real._

_You see Ben hovering in the light. His eyes seem to be closed. You run up to him and try calling his name._

_Your voice sounds like a wind chime._

_His eyes peek open a little. A black liquid drips down his boyish cheeks._

_You call him again and reach out to him. This time he opens his eyes completely, a glowing red pupil looking at you. Your hand rests on his cheek, the chilly liquid gathering in your palm. He smiles._

**_“You shouldn’t have done that.”_ **

_Fear spikes up your spine and through your fingertips. The black substance in your hand begins to burn and seep into your skin. You recoil in fright, pulling a string of gelatinous, stringy matter with you. You look back up at Ben now staring at you emotionless._

**_“You’ve met a terrible fate, haven’t you?”_ **

_His voice reverberates in your ears. Hands covered in the same black liquid reach from the ground beneath you and clamber at your legs, latching onto you viciously. You begin to sink. You scream and look away from him._

_You look back up to find him in tears, silent sobs wracking his chest as he cries out at someone you can’t see. You call for him once more and reach out to him, the thick, inky substance up to your chest._

_Ben finally looks back down at you and continues to cry._

_His eyes are human._

_You’re swallowed whole. Darkness stains your vision as you fight against the crushing weight on your chest. You kick and struggle and scream._

_But the hands remain taught around your body._

_You can’t breathe._

_Your lungs burn with stale air._

_You can’t breathe._

_Something foul rushes down your throat, gaging you windpipe._

_You can’t breathe._

_“I can’t save you.”_

* * *

 

 

You jolted upright in your bed, gasping for air and immediately pawing for the paper bag under your pillow. You snatch it from the cool underside and shakily open the top, gathering it in your hands and pressing your mouth to it. Your chest jumped and stuttered, struggling to pull in the air it so desperately desired, and you began to panic. The burning returned and you felt yourself about to scream when you felt a warm, kind hand on your back.

“Easy does it Reesie…”

Miria’s voice was therapeutic and your lungs seemed to calm themselves at the sound of it. She rubbed your back soothingly as she helped you take deep breaths, pushing a hand against your chest and mimicking a calm rhythm herself. Your eyes watered as you watched her looking back at you with concern and warmth, your heart gradually slowing down from its jackhammer pace. When you’d finally managed to calm down, she wrapped you in a gentle hug.

“Everything’s okay…you don’t have to cry anymore…”

Huh? You touched your cheeks to find them soaking wet with hot tears. When did you start crying? You shivered and clung to your sister as much as you could, burying your face into her shoulder. Miria sighed and pat your head, a gesture she always did since you were small.

After a moment, you released her and hid your face. “S-sorry I woke you up,” you muttered. She lifted your head and ran her fingers through your bangs.

“It’s fine. I’m just glad we were sleeping together this time. You’ve been having night terrors much more frequently lately.” She tilted her head and smiled gently. “Better to be here than alone right?”

You nodded meekly and wiped your eyes with your sleeve. Your recurring nightmares didn’t come as much of a shock to your sister more than they did you. It’s been years since you were plagued by terrible dreams of falling or being chased by demonic figures in the night. They were very childish in nature, but since you’ve passed adolescence they too began to taper off into nothing. You couldn’t remember what triggered them in the first place, and you never cared to question it.

But their sudden resurgence deeply disturbed you.

You glanced back at Miria’s alarm clock, a cute oversized mug with a calico kitten peeking over the top, and looked at the sunlit halls. It was Saturday, meaning you would be in the house all alone again today.

Your gaze fell on your bedroom door and you tensed almost immediately.

“Ohhhh no, no no no no no!”

“…?”

“I’m gonna be late! Agh Red’s gonna chew me out again I just _know_ it.”

“…Red?”

“Shoot…where’d I put my glasses…”

“Here.”

“Ah, thanks! I’m sorry. I have to go right now. Jeez, I can’t believe I forgot…”

Mimi’s distressed mumbling floated down the hall as she half ran, half-hobbled downstairs. You could hear her struggling with her jeans and almost running into your father on the way down. You chuckled a little and stretched.

“Alright…guess I’ll go too…”

You stood up shakily and flipped your hair over itself, currently a red mop of curls and tangles. A long hot shower was calling your name, and you shook your mane around with the thought. Hesitantly, you made your way to your room and grabbed the handle.

Static clung to your skin.

You took a deep breath and opened the door.

Goosebumps prickled along your skin immediately. It was still deathly cold in your room despite the heat being on in the house. You shuddered and stood still for a moment, trying to adjust to the static racing along your skin as your breath came out in white puffs. The feeling was unusually strong this time, reaching behind your ears and winding itself into the roots of your hair. Every nerve was alive.

“Okay Reese…just get your clothes and book it.”

You paced toward your closet and quickly pulled out a pair of jeans and a thick plaid cardigan, throwing them over your shoulder and diving for the drawers for socks and a pair of undergarments.

A few of your books fell from their shelf.

 You gathered whatever else you needed hastily, dropping your toothpaste a few times. You reached for your phone on the nightstand table and was about to run out when you saw a tiny envelope in the corner.

Your laptop screen flicked on and off sporadically.

You tapped the screen and opened the new text. It was from Kierli, one of your old friends from grammar school. You felt a bubble of excitement. It’s been ages since you last saw her in the summer, and you were more than happy for an excuse to get out the house for a few hours. You responded cheerfully, blissfully unaware of the growing presence behind you.

You felt something rush up your back, like a finger tracing your spine. This chill was different from what you’ve felt so far, though everything about your situation was new to you. Your grip on your phone tightened and you briskly walked away from your room.

The door slammed itself shut behind you and you yelped in spite of yourself.

You wondered for a moment if Ben was upset with you, but you shook your head to erase the thought.

You didn’t want to think about him right now.

 

* * *

 

The dance hall was much bigger than you thought it would be, though you’ve never stepped foot inside. The entrance was warmly lit and shimmering with metals past won, ornate chairs and tables decorating the hardwood floors. You went to check your phone again when you caught sight of a flair of big, poofy hair bounding towards you. You didn’t have enough time to react.

But it was always fine if it was Kierli who bear-hugged you.

“Mm so glad you’re here!!” she squealed, squeezing the life out of you.

You laughed breathlessly, struggling to speak with her chest crushing your windpipe. You flailed your limbs uselessly underneath her tall frame. Kierli began to laugh and finally released you, beaming a smile at you.

“Long time no see peanut!”

“Jeez, you’re still calling me that?”

“We were a Reese’s cup for Halloween and you expect me not to call you that?”

You covered your face in embarrassment. “Fine. But I still get to call you mom.”

“Fair enough,” she giggled.

You smiled at her, genuinely happy to see here. Kierli was tall and beautifully sculpted, her long arms and legs toned from her rigorous modern dance practices. Her voluminous hair wasn’t braided this time, her pencil-wide curls framing her heart-shaped face. A soft green scarf kept her hair out of her dark almond shaped eyes, the only color in her black dance wear. The sun seemed drawn to her chocolate skin, and you could swear you saw the air around her glimmering sometimes.

Gorgeous, you’d say, and every time she flaunted it.

Taking your coat from your arms, she walked ahead. “C’mon, let’s go upstairs. I have a new ensemble I want to show you.”

“Okay!” you happily chirped, skipping behind her. You remembered early ballet recitals in 5th grade, watching her bold afro leap across the stage with ease while you cheered her on from the seats. Kierli left her ballet roots for a more expressive medium with the claim that ballet was too stifling for her. Too many rules and requirements for her body to be acceptable she’d say, waving her hand irritably. The memory made you chuckle. She was so fiercely herself and wouldn’t stand for anyone to try to make her change.

You followed her up a winding staircase and through a series of back halls that were mostly vacant, lightly chatting about the day and listening to her explain every detail about the latest offense a girl did in her class. Her irritation was so plainly obvious it was hard for you not to smile.

Kierli opened a door to a wide expansive room fitted with glass walls and stained glass windows, colorful light streaming into the afternoon darkness. You took off your shoes and set them aside on the mat so you wouldn’t dirty the glossy wood flooring, and slowly walked around. There was a something nostalgic about the way light hovered gently over everything in the room, covering all including you in a soft glow. You looked towards Kierli to spot her stretching in the middle of the dance floor, gracefully arching her back as she shook out her arms.

“What were you going to show me again?” you asked.

“Sit on those mats over there. I’ll need the space,” she chuckled in reply. You scrunched your face at her but did as you were told, sitting cross-legged on a stack of blue mats close to the wall. Checking to make sure you were over where she wanted you, she tapped through her cellphone and turned on a small Bluetooth speaker. A moment later, a soft piano could be heard. Kierli skipped away from the speaker before the song could start up again and stood still.

As soon as the song started, her body began to weave itself within its gentle crooning.

Her movements were slow and small, her brows pinched together as she followed her hands lifting above her head. Someone’s voice began to echo through the hall, and she spun to match it. The more the acoustics strummed, the more her body bent to its direction. You watched in awe as the light traced the silhouette of her figure, peeking through her hair as a rainbow of stars. Kierli floated across the floor, no longer herself, but as a being only existing in rhythm and emotion. The strings sung with every move of her body, pulling and swaying until voices could be heard again.

Only when the room was dimmed with silence, save your frantic applause, did she open her eyes.

“That was—you were so—I can’t even! K that was awesome!”

Kierli stood in place panting a little, smiling to herself before turning to you. “Wasn’t it? There’s still some stuff I want to change up a bit, I think, but everything else is solid.”

“You mean there was a mistake?”

“No mistakes, just stuff that isn’t supposed to be in this piece.” You watched her walk over to you and take a water bottle out of her bag, offering it to you before taking a swig herself. “Every move is to be seen. Some of them have an earlier appearance date.”

You grinned at her and leaned back on the cool plaster behind you as she climbed on top of the mats beside you. You closed your eyes slowly.

“…how’s your brother doing?”

You heard her sigh, the mats underneath you shifting a little as she pulled her knees up to her chest.

“He’s…the same. He’s responsive on some days more than others. Mom is really hoping he’ll wake up soon.”

You opened your eyes a little.

“…I hope he wakes up soon.”

You frowned a little. It happened 3 years ago when Kierli’s brother was still a kid. A simple day at the park turned into a scare that waited to bare its fangs. While the family was setting up for a barbeque, Kierli was watching him play around on the monkey bars. She was called and she took her eyes off him for a split second, yet even that was enough for him to lose his footing and bang his head on the ladder.

You noticed her clenched fist and sighed, covering it with your own. She bowed her head with a rueful smile on her face.

“I know he will,” you murmured softly.

She leaned her head back onto the wall and sighed, catching your hand in hers and flinching almost immediately. You looked back at her, confusion written on both of your faces.

“…what?”

Kierli blinked at you with owlish eyes and held both of your hands in hers. “Your hands are freezing! Why are they so cold?”

You grinned smugly. “It’s cold outside, genius.”

“Not cold enough for your hands to feel like the deepfreze. Christ, what have you been doing before you got here?”

You let your gaze wander off to the side as you laughed dryly. For a moment, you considered mentioning there was a ghost hiding out in your flatscreen and that he did something funky with the thermostat. This would not be the first time you’ve talked about something paranormal related with her. You thought for about it before turning to face her completely, her dark brown eyes centering on your face. You took a deep breath and blurted out what you’ve wanted to tell her for ages now.

“There’s a guy I like a lot and I think he’s mad at me.”

She blinked. “…eh?”

“T-there’s a guy I really like and I think he’s mad at me. I don’t know what I did to make him mad, but I don’t know what to do to make him un-mad. You’re better at this stuff than I am! Help!”

Kierli seemed to snap out of her daze and she screamed at the top of her lungs, shaking you around fiercely. “There’s a guy! You like! Holy cow! Since when?! For how long?!”

“Ah—“

“Who is he? Do I know him? Why’s he mad?”

“Um—“

“Who said he gets to be mad at you when you didn’t do anything?! Do I need to fight him?! I’ve got hands for days!”

“N-no momma, easy momma! Down! Down girl!”

You grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back down on the mats, but her insistent wiggling made you both topple over in a heap of washed out blue covers and simultaneous yelling. You hit the ground with a dull smack and quickly kicked off the mats covering your body. Kierli’s poofy mane popped up a second later and she snorted a laugh.

“My bad,” she said with a smile. “I’m just super excited to hear it! Have you told him how you felt yet?”

You nodded shyly, blushing a little from the memory and the ones that followed. “Yeah…we feel the same.” One moment you were sitting and the next you were back on the ground with a squealing Kierli squeezing the life out of you.

“Awww why didn’t you tell me earlier?! That’s so cute Reesie!!”

“C-can’t…breathe—“

“Oh yeah!” she said suddenly, letting you go just as quickly. “Are you guys having a fight?”

“Um, well, I don’t know…we just stopped talking for some reason. I haven’t seen him in a while.”

Kierli glared at you and crossed her arms. “You’re not doing that hiding thing again are you?”

“Eh?”

“That thing where you disappear and act like everything’s fine when something’s wrong? You’re doing it again aren’t you.”

You sighed with defeat, covering your face with your hands. It’s a bad habit you could never seem to break. It was just…easier this way. Not dealing with things. Ignoring them. Waiting for them to pass over you.

It was easier this way.

Something in your chest clenched.

“You’re not giving up are you?”

It got worse. Painful this time. You moved your hands away and stared at the ceiling.

“I don’t…”  
“Then don’t. He means a lot to you doesn’t he? I don’t know what his problem is, but I do know you and that you won’t confront it until its too late.”

Kierli stood and offered you her hand, smiling a little. “You should talk to him again. I’m sure whatever it is, its silly to be upset over it.”

You stared at her for a moment and took her hand, standing up into the orange sunlight pouring through the window. “I want to. I really want to see him again but…”

_…but what? What am I afraid of?_

“It might be scary coming to him after this weird spasm of not talking to each other, but think about how much he means to you. Ask yourself if this is how we fall apart.”

You looked up at her, taking in the light green and blue colors painting her face. Even now, her eyes seemed to gleam within the darkness and you had to smile too. This was one of the reasons you admired her so much. Kierli had the ability to meet anyone where they were and speak to their hearts, despite the fears or insecurities they might have, and make them feel taller. Her bravery to do what everyone else shied away from made her a hero in your eyes, even something as simple as talking to a friend about something that may or may not have happened.

Albeit the circumstances are much different, Ben meant more to you than you originally thought.

The way your chest hurt at the thought of him being alone again reminded you of the promise you made him when you first met him.

Kierli seemed to have sensed your resolve and smiled approvingly when he phone rang. “Ah, hang on,” she said, skipping over to her bag and fishing for her phone. You checked yours and lamely flipped through your texts to see one from Miria.

_“I’ll be back late, so don’t force yourself to stay up, okay? If you can’t sleep you can stay in my room for the night. Have some of the chamomile I left on the table.”_

You grinned softly and tapped back a heart emoji, shutting it off when Kierli came back with her hoodie and gym shoes on. “Mom wants me to meet her at the hospital soon. You wanna go get some hot chocolate first?” She offered you your coat, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“Hell yeah!” you yelled, grabbing your coat from her arms and throwing your scarf over your shoulders.

She snorted a laugh and was about to walk away when you looked back at the dance floor. “Hey wait, what about the mats? Shouldn’t we pick those up?”

Kierli paused at the door and looked between you and the discarded blue mats scattered haphazardly on the ground. She grinned slyly at you and placed a finger to her lips.

“Hush,” she said with a wink.

“But won’t we get in trouble?”

To your dismay, she grabbed you and tugged you out of the hall.

“Only if we get caught.”

“You’re a bad influence.”

“Only the best kind!”

 

The hot paper cup warmed your fingers as you left the hospital. Luckily, Amphele was a small town and mostly everything was within walking distance. You strolled down the town plaza and smiled in slight nostalgia. The smell of pinecones and pumpkin spice filled the air, and you spotted Halloween decorations in the fronts of the shops. Hay rides and corn mazes opened for the little ones to play in, and it seemed like a petting zoo had taken up shop in the main square. You couldn’t contain yourself from running over and petting a baby goat nibbling on the ropes, squealing like a little girl when another one butted its tiny horns against it, competing for attention. You spotted a little girl in the corner of your eye watching you pet the goats and smiled at the way she held her body tense in one spot. You gathered a little of oats in your hand and offered it to her.

“Here, you can feed the goats like this, see?” You opened your hand to the smallest one and let it scoop up every oat in the palm of your hand, sniffing for more around you. She still seemed hesitant and you waved her over, presenting another handful of oats to her little hands.

“Now you give it a try,” you cheered. She blinked her large eyes at you and slowly reached out to the pen, squeaking when one of the larger goats immediately devoured everything that she was holding. You laughed at her newfound joy and let her feed more of the animals, sticking around until her father came over to join her. You smiled and began to walk with a cheerful bounce in your step. October was the best month of the year.

The crunch of autumn leaves under your boots was the only sound in the wake of the afternoon. You could tell no one was home yet and you hurried to the door, knowing Ame would have to go out soon. You only managed to unlock the door when you heard the familiar patter of tiny paws and a soft whining. Ame was already at the door, his tail wagging so fast his whole body wobbled restlessly.

You bent down and cooed at your puppy, the tiny dog stepping underneath you and standing on his hind legs to greet you. You giggled and kissed his head, petting him as much as his squirming body would allow you to. Racing him to the back door, you let him out to wander the backyard for a bit for being cooped up in the house all day.

It was then you noticed how empty the house was.

The stillness let fear trickle into your belly, but you quickly stamped it out.

This wasn’t how you’d fall apart.

With that thought in mind, you ran upstairs and barged into your room.

“Ben!”

……..

Nothing.

You looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary. No trace of static anywhere. Even the heavy chill from earlier wasn’t present. You took off your coat and threw in on your beanbag chair, standing in front of the TV.

“….hey.”

You placed your hand on the screen and spoke softly. “Can you hear me in there?”

No response.

“…I hope you’re alright. Last time I was really worried about you…I still am. I don’t know if you wanna talk yet, but if you do I’ll be in Mimi’s room, okay?”

You took your hand away from the screen and sighed, a heavy feeling sitting in your chest. Kicking off your shoes, you changed out of you clothes into a pastel pink Kirigumi owl, headed for your sister’s bed. You collapsed into the soft quilt and curled up underneath it, your eyes struggling to stay open as a sudden drowsiness took over.

“…please.”

 

* * *

 

 

_Blue skies above you welcomed you home._

_You laid on your back, watching the sun color the sky a pale blue color as the wind rushed through your hair. You closed your eyes and opened them to a pink afternoon sky, clouds floating by you lazily. You closed your eyes again._

_You opened them to a dark sky painted with glorious stars._

_You sat up and took in your new surroundings. You no longer sat in the grass, but a crystalline layer of solid ground sparkled with every move you made. You looked at your hands and feet. You were in your soul form again, little specks of glitter flying up and away from your body._

_You heard a voice behind you._

_You turned and saw a pale yellow soul edged in light green walking toward you, light seeping from every footstep. It looked male and stood at about your height, its eyes a focused cat-like gaze. You felt you recognized this soul, something deep and instinctive ringing in the back of your mind. You turned to face it and watched it smile as it said your name._

_“Risa.”_

_B-Ben?_

_You ran to meet him as his smile confirmed your suspicions. You’ve never seen him like this before, and you couldn’t help but stare at his glowing green eyes. He looked at you with a tender expression, his hands cupping your face with a displaced warmth enveloping your body. You held his wrists loosely and tried to piece together what was happening._

_Is that you?_

_He answered by guiding your face up to meet his and kissing you._

_Your eyes closed on their own and you reeled from the explosion of warmth covering every inch of you. You didn’t dare move from this spot for fear of ending this surreal moment. He released you and smirked in a familiar cocky manner, and you narrowed your eyes at him playfully._

_Yeah, that’s you alright._

_He chuckled. The sound of bells tickled your ears as he lowered his forehead down to yours, his eyes closed in contentment. You smiled and held his body close to you. You didn’t understand how or why any of this was happening, but you didn’t question. All you knew was that this was Ben, and that’s all you needed._

_…where’ve you been?_

_“Stuck.”_

_Stuck how?_

_“There’s another being attached to me. Something not human, not spirit. Something dangerous. I can’t leave it, and it can’t leave me.”_

_…but why? Why can’t you?_

_“We are one in the same now. I don’t know how long I’ve been dead, but it’s been long enough for us to meld together. It’s impossible to separate us now.”_

_You frowned at the sad tone in his voice._

_Can’t I do something?_

_“….I don’t want to get you involved Reese.” His eyes narrowed. “I want to keep you away from it as much as I can. I want to keep you safe.”_

_Stupid, I’m already involved. I have been since you arrived._

_“This is different.” His tone of voice grew serious as he lifted his eyes to look into yours. You grew still. “There are things about me that will do nothing but hurt you. You were in enough danger as it was since you came to me, and yet you stayed with me. I tried to keep you away from me as best I could, but you refused and stayed by my side.”_

_Ben enveloped you in his warmth again, and your body reflected a light peach color._

_“I’ve started to remember things from when I was alive. You were the one who reminded me what it was like to care about someone else. You helped me remember what it meant to put someone else’s needs above my own. You gave back my humanity.” His hold on you grew tight. “And now I remember what fear feels like.”_

_You’re afraid?_

_“Yes.” Ben pressed you to his chest for a moment, as if he were holding something fragile in his arms. “Fear is what I remember the most. Fear, and anger. I’m afraid of a lot of things Risa, but now, what I’m afraid of most is losing you. If you ever got hurt because of me, if something happened to you…I couldn’t…”_

_You immediately hugged him and buried your face into his neck._

_I’ll always be right here._

_“But you don’t know that for sure.”_

_I don’t. But I do know that wherever I am, you’ll be with me, right?_

_“…right.”_

_See? There’s nothing to be afraid of Ben. I’m here, and you’re here._

_Something pulsated deep in your chest, and the both of you held each other tighter._

_This is all that matters. This right here._

_The tense feeling in his shoulders seemed to dissipate as he pulled away just enough to look at you, his eyes full of anxiety._

_Yet hopeful._

_“I won’t hide from you anymore.”_

_Hm?_

_“When you wake up and see me, I won’t look the same as you remember me. I won’t be the same. I don’t know what I might do either…are you sure you want to stay with me?”_

_Absolutely._

_There was no hesitation in your voice. Ben looked at you with a surprised, pained expression that soon melted into unbridled affection. You’ve never seen a more honest, more vulnerable soul._

_“God…who knew that dying would be the best thing that ever happened to me…”_

_Your laughter was swallowed up in a sudden kiss that made your eyes open wide, his hands winding themselves in your hair as he stole every chance to make you gasp in surprise. Your hands pressed weakly against his shoulders and slowly moved down to his chest as you returned his frantic kiss with one full of reassurance, doing your best to tell him everything will be okay. You felt his lips trembling and something hot fell onto your cheek._

_Was he…crying?_

_You tilted your head and slid your tongue into his mouth, gently massaging his in calming circles. He hiccupped into your mouth but followed your lead, his hands now dropping to your waist and hugging you tightly. His tears fell against your collarbone, but you didn’t pull away. You refused to._

_It’s going to be okay Ben._

_You gently rubbed his back and his sides at a slow pace, noting how his hiccups started to slow._

_No matter what happens, I’ll always be here._

_He cupped your face with one hand, stroking your cheek._

_We’ll face this together._

* * *

 

 

You woke with a start and immediately shot out of bed.

Grabbing the doorknob, you turned and threw the door open.

Your breath caught in your chest.

He was here and awake. Standing in the middle of the floor was a ghostly figure you knew too well now. Your voice was nothing but a whimper, but he heard you.

“…Ben…”

His ear twitched and he turned to face you. You felt every nerve in your body spike all at once. You wanted to embrace him right then and there, but something way in the back of your mind told you to wait.

After a moment of staring at each other in silence, Ben began to walk toward you.

 _Wait_.

The closer the ghost came, the colder the room grew. He kept a steady pace, inching closer to you.

_Wait._

You could see your breaths in shaky white puffs, your body shivering from the cold. Ben’s face was unmoving as a dark liquid seeped from his black eyes.

 _Wait_.

He steadily cornered you in between his arms, trapping you within his space. This time, however, you didn’t cower away from him.

_Wait._

Ben inclined his head towards you, his glowing red pupils boring straight into you. You felt a familiar pressure closing in on all sides of your mind, weighing on your chest. You knew what he was doing, and yet you felt a sense of peace.

You didn’t know what awaited you on the other side.

But you were going to see it through.

You closed your eyes for a moment and looked back at him.

**“You’ve met a terrible fate, haven’t you.”**

You squeezed your fists under your sleeves, shaking uncontrollably.

It began immediately.

You watched as Ben’s mouth opened unnaturally, as if his jaw had unhinged itself from the rest of his skull. Any light around the room dimmed and flickered as the rest of your room fell victim to an unseen wind. Your books fell from their case, chairs and tables flipping over themselves. Your bed dragged across the room as cracks in the wall started to form around you. You began to hyperventilate as the pressure grew unbearable, your lungs struggling against the force trying to wedge its way inside. You’re vision grew splotchy with dark spots and visions of distorted faces, random voices shouting and biting at your ears. Something smoke-like seeped out of his mouth and collected in the empty air around you before finding its direction and hovering closer to you.

Then it shot straight into your mouth.

You felt like you were drowning as it bore its way down your throat, into your lungs, into your nose, into your ears, at the back of your eyes. Your chest convulsed sporadically and your stomach lurched. You felt bile burning the back of your throat as nausea bombarded your senses, but you were pinned to the wall until by an immense force. Your body levitated as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your limbs twitching beyond your control. Finally, his mouth closed and he disappeared, and you collapsed onto the floor, lifeless.

You couldn’t tell if you were conscious or not, but the last of it winked out within the midst of an unfamiliar voice.

_“…I’m sorry…”_

**Author's Note:**

> *I noticed some sort of weird formatting error ao3 did with the spacing. I'll fix it asap!


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